“ARE YOU TIRED OF PUTTING UP WITH YOUR CHILD’S DISOBEDIENCE? ARE YOU READY FOR SOME GOOD OLD FASHIONED DISCIPLINE? IF SO, YOU HAD BETTER WATCH OUT FOR NOWADAYS IT MIGHT LAND YOU IN JAIL!”

 I’m Dennis Finnan, host and speaker on the World, the Word & You! Broadcast, and in a moment we’ll talk about the hot button issue of parental discipline…

…In the past quarter of a century, one of the major issues among American family members has been the method of rearing and disciplining children. In Massachusetts a few years ago, a family incident occurred, that embroiled a father with the State’s Department of Social Services. It appeared he chose one day, and only that occasion, to spank his child for disobedience in the home.  The Rev. Donald Cobbie who believed in parenting according to the Bible, decided to give his son a couple of whacks on the behind. Pastor Cobble stated, “The rod is a necessary part – not the whole – of training a child.” 1 But, what he called necessary discipline, the Massachusetts Department of Social Services called child ABUSE! They took him to court and won the case that spanking was and simply put is ¾ CHILD ABUSE! Well, on that note and a recent court ruling of the highest court, the Supreme Court of Massachusetts, I’ll share with you some important information and truth you need to know on the issue of corporal punishment and child rearing. So, stay tuned as we pause one more time for this musical expression…

…A few summers ago, I visited New Hampshire and attended a small but quaint church there. The pastor shared a beautiful message from the Word of God and gave an illustration that struck my mind with the thought for this broadcast. He told the story of BIG JIM! The story unfolded in a small country schoolhouse at the turn of the century. A very young boy who came from a poor family had come to school with no lunch. His family was so poor that often the children went without a regular nourishing meal. This was one of those days. This poor, literally starving, frail boy saw a lunch bag of one of the other students. In the weakness of his hunger, he stole and ate it. Well when lunchtime rolled around it was discovered that a girl’s lunch was missing. The schoolmaster, a stern old-fashioned man, ordered everyone to stand up and confess who stole the girl’s lunch. He told them the one who did must be disciplined, and would face a good solid spanking. The little hungry boy walked forward and confessed his sin. The Schoolmaster had everyone sit down as he went to get his paddle. So that everyone would never forget this incident, he intended to whack this boy so hard, that he and the others would forever regret the sin of stealing.

Well, just as he raised the huge paddle to this young and frail boy, a voice from the rear spoke up. “Sir, please stop. I will take the discipline for the punishment of this crime for him.” The schoolmaster thought about it and realized it was a fair trade. The sin must be punished, and justice had to be done, so the boy in the back, a strapping big boy named Jim, went forward. There the class witnessed the stern paddling of Big Jim, who stood in the place of that little lad as he took his spanking! That little boy never forgot what BIG JIM did for him. Well, of course the illustration was superb as it showed what God did for all of us in the human race, who because of sin and rebellion deserve God’s ordained punishment. The Bible says for the sin of disobeying God’s commands for life and living in His world, we too must be punished. The Bible says,

Rom 3:23 (NIV)  “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

Rom 6:23 (NIV)  “For the wages of sin is death..”

Now please note that, the Scriptures also declare that God takes no delight in punishing us, but His just laws and the holiness of His Being, demand that all sin must be dealt with and punished. So what did God do for us? Well that’s the wonderful story and Good News of the Bible. God decreed the just punishment for sin in the universe and then stepped down from the judge’s bench in eternity, and took our penalty upon Himself and justly satisfied the law of sin and death. Again the Bible tells us,

Rom 5:6.8 (NIV)  "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly…. 8 God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

1 Cor 15:3 (NIV)  "For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures,"

Like BIG JIM in the story, God the Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, became a man and took our place before the judgment bench of God and paid for our sins, by dying “in our place.” That of course is the great story of the grace and mercy of God, which is available to all who will ask the Lord Jesus Christ to be their Savior that is their sin payment substitute. However, the issue of corporal punishment here and now on earth is another matter for us to consider.

It was a tragic day after that spanking incident in Massachusetts, that a Superior Court judge upheld the conviction of Pastor Cobble as a child abuser for simply spanking his son. However, Cobble appealed the ruling to the state’s highest court, and in a unanimous decision, it ordered the Department of Social Services abuse finding vacated.

Lawyers for the state had argued that the spanking raised "substantial risk of physical injury" to

Cobble's 12-year-old son, Judah, but the highest court ruled spanking itself was not child abuse.

How refreshing.

However, we all do agree that physical discipline of a child can become abuse, and it is vitally important that parents understand how to safely use this method of child training which the Bible encourages. For instance let’s look at the Bible and see what it says concerning the physical discipline of children. We read,

Prov 22:15 (NIV)  "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him."

Prov 23:13-14 (NIV)  "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. 14 Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death."

Prov 29:15 (NIV)  "The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother."

Of course the “rod” here is not a cane or a cat-o-nine tails, or some other abusive instrument to cause serious pain and damage. It was a small and pliable tree switch. The purpose was to cause pain all right, but no injury of any sort. Now if the Bible refers to corporal discipline as a means of rearing your children, can anyone fault God’s method, who created us? The answer is no, unless you are simply one who rejects God, His existence, and His Word as genuine. However, I know many young parents are concerned about how they are to discipline their children. Today more than 55% of all American parents still believe that it is “sometimes necessary” to spank their children.  Well, in that light, here are some helpful ways to consider corporal discipline when the occasion calls for it.

1.  REALIZE NOT EVERY DISOBEDIENCE CALLS FOR SPANKING

The Bible only recommends spanking children when their disobedience is something major and serious enough to warrant it. Remember, there are other ways of disciplining a child. Be creative in understanding your own children, their needs, wants and desires and apply pressure in such areas to show them your disapproval of disobedience. But, spanking should always be the last thing to do for any infraction.

2.  NEVER SPANK A CHILD OUT OF FRUSTRATION AND ANGER   

Admittedly, a disobedient child can bring anger and frustration into your life, but if you spank a child at such times, you only show him or her your inconsistency that revolves around your mood. All you teach a child this way is to avoid your moods, not train them in the wrongness of disobedience. Also, if you exercise discipline when angry or frustrated, you will be out of control and possibly be guilty of child abuse by unfair, unusual and uncalled for harshness in spanking. Remember God does nothing in anger and expects us to do the same. The Bible says,

James 1:20 (NLT)  “Your anger can never make things right in God’s sight.”

But then there is more.

3.  BE CONSISTENT & FAIR WHEN APPLYING CORPORAL DISCIPLINE  

Remember, consistency means the same punishment follows the same infraction every time! Consistency shows parental unity and fairness, which is the basis of God’s rule in the universe. As to being fair, don’t over punish a child, or unfairly either. To do this one must (1) MAKE CLEAR RULES. Never punish a child when your rules and punishments have not clearly been told to them. Also, remember that young small children can remember only so many rules. Do overburden them with such. Select those that are crucial for a child’s safety and tolerable home environment and enforce them consistently. It’s better to toddler-proof the home than rebuke them every time they are simply exploring their world. (2) LET THE PUNISHMENT FIT THE CRIME. Some things, many things simply don’t deserve a spanking. But willful rebellion, disobedience and destructive behavior in serious matters do! In other cases, consequences should relate rationally to the misdeed. Withholding a fun event, or an enjoyable time the child likes can be punishment enough if explained well. Fourth,

4.  USE CORPORAL PUNISHMENT SWIFTLY OR AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

Don’t delay as many do and say, “Just wait till your father gets home.” It’s too late. If a child’s disobedience is worthy of a spanking, then mother or caregiver must give it right away. But be careful, you do not react with an angry attitude. If anger is there, first let it subside and ask God for a clear mind to exercise the discipline necessary for disobedience. Then fifth,

 5.  IF YOU MUST SPANK A CHILD, DO IT PRIVATELY

Remember, a child’s dignity is fragile and needs privacy. It is never right to humiliate a child before his siblings, friends or others. Private spanking is also a time when you can first talk to the child explaining when they have to be disciplined. Let them know their disobedience privately, then that punishment will properly teach a child the consequences of disobedience.  Also, realize children really need to feel and experience something truly “unpleasant” after a severe wrong action for them to really grasp that it was wrong. In fact the Bible teaches this,

Prov 29:19  “For a [child], mere words are not enough—discipline is needed. For the words may be understood, but they are not heeded.”

When children do wrong, reason alone doesn’t always work. Like adults, children are naturally rebellious, for they are born with a sin nature and are self-centered, willful and will always choose to obey selfish desires before anything else. Thus, as the Bible says: “mere words are not enough!” You see in Scripture, we are told that God expresses His love for us by partially disciplining us too. We read in,

Prov 13:24 (NIV)  “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.”

Heb 12:5-11 (NIV)   “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, 6 because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.” 7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8 If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10 Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

Indeed, God tells us that such disciplines are training sessions to make us like Himself and to be able to enjoy the fullest rewards of an obedient life. Lastly, in helpful hints for using  corporal discipline,

6.  IN ALL DISCIPLINING SESSIONS, ALWAYS SHOW LOTS OF LOVE  & AFFECTION BEFORE AND AFTER THE DISCIPLINE

A child needs to know the discipline was not anger, or even hatred. It was given to lovingly correct wrong action and attitudes. When I as a father of my five children took out the discipline paddle, I held my child in my arms and hugged them, and told them I loved them so much that I cared enough to discipline them for good. Then after the spanking, I hugged them and spoke kind loving words to them, followed by complete restoration of love and relationships, even a small reward for their submitting to the action with me. Also, when not disciplining a child, be sure to also show much physical affection. Too many dads these days are affectionless. They never hug their sons and daughters, or tell them they love them and show practical tangible things to express such love. How about you? You know our heavenly father God, is the best example. He showers us with His love, and reveals His goodness to all His creation.

Psa 52:1 “… the goodness of God endures continually.”

Rom 2:4 “Don’t you realize how kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Or don’t you care? Can’t you see how kind he has been in giving you time to turn from your sin?”

Yes, God often showers us with His goodness, love, care, and provision. He does this for the express purpose is to lead us to call upon Him in repentance and faith to accept Jesus Christ as our God and Savior.

Now, this brings me back to the story of BIG JIM!  Yes, Big Jim, if your recall took that little boy’s place, and took his spanking for his crime of theft. Although he was a big strong boy, the spanking hurt but the punishment was given out and justice was served. Remember, the stolen lunch was eaten and lost to the original owner, but the crime was paid for!

Friend, do you realize this whole issue of corporal punishment is a lesson from God that sin must be paid for, and that the punishment must fit the crime? Moreover, do your realize what is the most wicked, evil and unrighteous sin in the universe? Of this one crime, there is nothing worse and deserve nothing less than the greatest punishment ever to be given for it.

What is it? It is the sin of rejecting the love, mercy and grace of God given to us all through the substitutionary death of God’s Son Jesus Christ, who died to pay for our sins. Yes, His death and His suffering on the cross is God’s gift to all who will receive it. Imagine if you will the little boy in the story, when BIG JIM offered to take his place, that he spurned him and laughed at his offer, made fun of it and simply ignored it? Why the class and the teacher and all of us would be shocked at the rottenness of that little boy, the bold unmitigated gall to refuse so great an offer of love. Or worse, after Big Jim took the little boy’s punishment that he laughed at him and said I don’t need your kindness and friendship. Go away and leave me alone. In like manner, when we come before God for our sins and disobedience, and realize we’ve spurned the love of God’s gift through Jesus Christ, how great will be our remorse!

BIG JIM is a perfect human illustration of God the Son, Jesus Christ who offers to pay for your sins and in place grant you His gift of life eternal. Have you been saved from your sins? Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your sin bearer? Have you asked God the Father to place your sins on Jesus Christ, who is ready to bear them for all eternity? If not, you will one day face the most terrible discipline of all ¾ rejecting Christ and being cast into an eternal everlasting Hell. The Bible warns us,

2 Th 2:12 (NIV)  “…all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness.”

Jesus Himself said,

John 5:24 (NIV)  “”I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life.”

Today the issue is, is it right to physically discipline a child. Well many who reject God’s love and Word say no, and understandably so. To agree that there is such a thing as physical punishment is to also admit that sin deserves judgment. They cannot do that, for they reject God’s judgments. But the Bible says if we want to rear healthy, loving and obedient children there is a place for spanking and it is NOT CHILD ABUSE. In fact, a number of state courts are beginning to agree with this too. Pastor Cobble was acquitted finally and the state of Massachusetts Department of Social Services now has to lawfully agree. That is a good thing, but the question still stands ¾ how about you? Have you agreed with God? Have you allowed “BIG JIM,” to take your place? The Bible offers an even greater One, God Himself. It is He who stands ready to take your place, and save every sinner from the wrath of His judgment to come. The Bible declares:

 “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved,” (Acts 16:31)

Now that’s good advice, and I hope and pray you’ve taken it…

…More than five decades after Dr. Spock, the child psychologist of the 50’s, sent corporal punishment to the woodshed, spanking is making a come back, and it’s about time. If you follow these simple rules I’ve shared with you, I know it will bring a measure of peace, control and harmony to every home. During the growing years with my five children, I used this method of discipline when necessary. Now that all are grown, they are responsible godly parents themselves. They are not ruined by it, in fact they are better for it and all tell me that on occasion. May God’s good word of truth and rules for life and living, guide your home and heart for Jesus’ sake, Amen.

___________________

1 CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MONITOR, 15 September, 1999, “The Case of a Father’s Refusal to Spare the Rod,” by Yvonne Zipp, Staff writer.

2 Boston Globe, 17 November 1999, “High court throws out abuse ruling in spanking case.” By Martin Finucane, Associated Press, 17 November 1999

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·         Radio talk # 4906

·         Broadcast date: December 03, 2006

·         Speaker: Dennis L. Finnan, Commentator

·         Program: The World, the Word & You! Radio Broadcast

·         Address: P.O. Box 60033 Grand Junction, CO 81506

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The World, the Word & You! Broadcast is a non-denominational ministry based on the historic fundamental evangelical interpretation of the Scriptures. A copy of our doctrinal statement is available upon request. These weekly radio commentaries are not exhaustive studies of any particular subject due to the time limit of broadcasting. Actual broadcasts can be heard in selected areas around the nation, as funding provides. Dennis Finnan has been the speaker for over 24 years, and serves as General Director.

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