“EVER SINCE MAN WAS BORN OF WOMAN, WE’VE STRUGGLED WITH THE ‘BLAME GAME.’ THERE HASN’T BEEN A TIME WHEN WE HAVEN’T EXERCISED THE ‘VICTIM MENTALITY’ THAT BLAMES OTHERS FOR OUR SINS.”

 I’m Dennis Finnan, host and speaker on the World, the Word & You! Broadcast and in a moment we’ll talk about this problem that goes on in the lives of individuals and nations day after day…

…Not long ago ABC News Special’s John Stossel examined the excesses of the “victim’s movement” and how this tendency to blame our misfortunes on anyone but ourselves was a growing malady in American life. He reported this “blame game” affects public policy, the workplace, and many homes and relationships. More and more often these days we claim to be “victims” of bad parents, an unjust society or some disability. Why should we accept responsibility for what happens to us and is not our fault? Indeed, the “Blame Game” goes on. It seems at every turn of a negative event in our national and personal life, we are quick to blame others for our failures and sin. Are we truly a country of victims? Well after our second pause for a musical refreshment, I’ll return to answer the problem so prevalent today…

.. It’s so easy to blame others for our problems isn’t it? Why in reality it’s usually or never our fault something happened or failed that we were involved in. When it comes to marriages failure rate of 50% annually, it seems it’s always the other spouse’s fault, but never ours.  Yes, blame is often the number one culprit in unhappy and failing marriages.  But the question is what is blame? For starters, when we blame, we place responsibility for our bad feelings and upsets, our failures and wrong doing on another person or object. In the home often when a child fails in something or commits an infraction one spouse may quickly say to the other, “It’s your fault our child acts this way because….” Well, blame is not the problem, but the presence of blame inhibits families from dealing with the real issues and solving problems. Blame creates a negative "I'm right and you're wrong” attitude.  Deborah Farnsworth, Marriage and Family Therapist in Newport Beach , California , defines what the “blame game” does. She states,

1. Blame quickly focuses responsibility for failure on your partner, not on the real problem.

2. Blame attempts to answer the question: "WHO did it" rather than "WHAT do we do about it?"

3. Blame implies the desire to punish others for our own failure.

4. Focusing on blame unfortunately misses the opportunity to resolve conflicts.

5. Blame quickly assumes that one is responsible and the other is innocent.

6. Blame only prolongs a conflict and just alienates the one blamed for it.

So now the question is why are we so quick to blame others, and when did this human weakness begin? Well like all things it began in the early stages of man’s existence. Now contrary to evolutionary false teaching on man’s origin, the Bible makes clear all humanity is the direct creative process of an omnipotent sovereign eternal God who determined long ago to make a living creature like Himself. We read of this in the opening pages of the Bible,

Gen 1:1, 26-27 (NIV)  In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth… Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Yes, you and I are the creative genius and plan of God. As such mankind, all who exist today, are the direct, personal act of God, apart from any organic evolutionary process. The Psalmist of old rightly declared this when he said,

Psa 100:3 (NIV)  Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his ; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Now the Bible says, following the creation of the animals of the earth, God directly created man by fashioning his body for the elements of the earth. God followed this immediately, by breathing into that lifeless body, the very life of God with result man became a “living soul,” being or creature.

Gen 2:7 (NIV) the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

Following the creation of one man, God named “Adam,” the very same day after a session of fellowship, God anesthetized Adam and performed the very first surgery. From the elements of his body, God fashioned another similar but different human being. Why did God do this? Well obviously God planned that the solitude of the man was not good for him, so God took continued steps to make the life of this man Adam, one of joy and fulfillment. We read of this too,

Gen 2:21-22 (NIV) So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

Yes, it was from this “rib,” God created woman, literally taken from Adam’s side in order that she may labor alongside of him, not under him. Indeed, the absolute unity of the human race in its descent from one ancestor is hereby confirmed.  In addition, a vital doctrine of the Scriptures is also established (Rom 5:18 ), and along with it, the true dignity of woman-kind is guaranteed. The Bible reaffirms that women are not in any way an inferior being or substance. She is of Adam’s very bone and his flesh. Now from there, the story of the creation of the first man and women reveals that God then presented Eve to Adam for his and her life long companionship. In fact, the Bible shows us God performed the very first marriage in that He sanctified and blessed the first home and the first family. The Lord Jesus interpreted this event as such in,

Mat 19:6 (NIV)  So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

So now that the human race had begun, it was time for them to reproduce. However, it appears God withheld this ability until His testing of these creatures was complete. First of all, both Adam and Eve were created sinless, that is there was no sin in their lives and even the thought of it never occurred to them. God was a good God who gave them everything to enjoy except one thing, a tree in the center of the Garden was off limits to them for food. Yes, the withholding of this was God’s test to allow mankind to show they loved and follow Him by their own free will. Thus they were given a choice to follow and obey God. We read again in,

Gen 2:16-17 (NIV)  And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.”

Now we all know the basic story of the fall of mankind from there. One day, Eve was tempted by an outside influence, to consider eating of the fruit of this tree God withheld from the happy couple. Adam and Eve in their sinless state lived in the Garden of Eden, a heaven on earth if you please, and both lived in perfect harmony as a result. Yet the fallen angel, Satan, came to tempt them to disobey God and to suffer the consequence promised. You see this test also brought a promise of a curse for failure ( 2:17 ), for both of them would begin the process of dying upon the disobedience to God. Well sadly Eve did disobey, and Adam followed and immediately both were changed from sinless creatures to sinners, now under God’s sentence of death. As a result, God drove them out of the earthly heaven, to fend for themselves as they so wished. Sadly, Adam and Eve both wanted to be little gods, and to have no other god over them. God obliged and has allowed mankind to live in this fallen way since then.

However, along with the sentence of physical and spiritual death, came the effects of sin. These included a corrupted soul and dead spirit, filled with depravity and evil. You see everything outside of God’s perfect nature is sin and evil, for it is everything that God is not.

The very first sin of mankind revealed in the Bible, apart from eating the forbidden fruit was to begin the ‘blame game.’ Listen as we discover its awful state,

Gen 3:7-13 (NIV)  Then the eyes of both of them were opened… 8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?” 10 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” 11 And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” 12 The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” 13 Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Here both Adam and Eve began what to this day we call “victim mentality.” It’s always someone else’s fault when we sin or fail. Men and women, even nations continue this ‘blame game’ never taking responsibility for one’s corrupt actions and sinful failures. This is all the result of who we are by birth and nature. You see, we do not become sinners because we sin, rather we sin because we “are” sinners! Yes, all conflicts of the home, society and the world around us are the result of that sinful fall experienced in the Garden of Eden by our first parents, Adam and Eve. The martial mess we find our nation in today, the terrorism and hate flourishing around the world, the perversion of sexuality promoted these days, and the ruination of our youngest generation by drugs and sex – all is the direct result of sin an failure to take responsibility for it!

So the answer to all our woes and wounds is to begin taking responsibility for our actions and sins. God commands us to do this by the way. Paul the apostle of the Lord wrote,

Acts 17:30-31 (NIV)  In the past God overlooked such ignorance, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent. 31 For he has set a day when he will judge the world with justice by the man he has appointed. He has given proof of this to all men by raising him from the dead.”

Yes, God confronted Adam in the Garden and said, “What have you done?” God is willing to change our corrupted nature, and grant us ability to be restored to a life of joy, happiness and fulfillment, but only when we come before Him, confessing our sins.

Indeed, often it may be the other person’s fault for the failures we experience in life, but nonetheless, our greatest failure is to love God with all our heart soul, mind and strength.

Yet, the Bible tells us the good news that God still loves us, and is willing to forgive us without upbraiding us when we come confessing our sins. John the apostle promises us that based on Christ’s death for our sins, and its application to our account,

1 John 1:9-10 (NIV)  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.

The question is have we claimed we have no sin? Are we unwilling to take responsibility for our disobedience to love God and surrender our lives to Him? You see, God saves no one who remains a rebel at heart to live their lives by their own will and making. Yet God lovingly comes to all who in tender surrender confess their guilt and ask forgiveness based on the faithful and just payment for our sins made by Jesus Christ on the cross of Calvary where He died.

The blame game will continue socially and nationally, until fallen sinners will come out from the refusal to face their own guilt, and call upon Jesus Christ to cleanse them and grant His forgiveness.

Neh 9:17 (NASB)  "… Thou art a God of forgiveness, Gracious and compassionate, Slow to anger, and abounding in loving-kindness..”

Acts 2:38-39 (NIV)  “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39 The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off—for all whom the Lord our God will call.”

Yes, God is willing to forgive because Jesus Christ the infinite God/Man offered to justly pay for our sins and disobedience which calls for physical and spiritual death in eternity. Although God cannot reverse mankind’s physical death, God has reversed all humanity’s coming spiritual death for all who’s sins are forgiven through Christ. Also, in this life God grants the ability to reverse the sin nature and its effects upon us all by granting all the forgiven a new nature and inner life that is sinless. Yes, Christian’s receive upon entering the salvation experience, a brand new nature and life within that will live forever in the presence of God in eternity. This new nature enables us, as we yield to it, to live in peace and harmony with our loved ones, neighbors, friends and even the world. But, we must yield to it and confess our guilt and sins when we allow the old nature born of sin, to selfishly rule our lives.

The blame game and the victim mentality should not be a part of the Christian life. May I ask you friend. When was the last time you confessed to your spouse, your children, your friends, classmates, your boss – “I was wrong… I failed… I’m responsible… I’m the culprit and I’m deeply sorry.” Furthermore, “I take full responsibility for whatever the consequences may bring.” I tell you, that kind of attitude will change families, communities and nations! May God grant those who know Christ as their Lord and Savior, to turn away from the coward’s mentality that blames others for our sins, and confess them to God and to our fellow man when we are guilty. The world will be a better place, and God will be honored. May God grant us all His grace and mercy to own up to our sins, first of all for salvation, and then from there to true sanctification and satisfaction in life…

…The Blame Game, we all play it well and all around us suffer because of it. Nationally, we blame the ruling political party for all things gone wrong in our nation. In the home we blame our spouse and children for failure and heartache. On the job we blame our fellow workers for failure and problems we face. In school we blame our teachers and classmates. In the church we blame the pastor and leaders for problems. Well, it’s time we begin taking the blame ourselves! For when we do, a measure of peace and tranquility can be experienced, as well as solutions to the problems and sins before us. Indeed, may God grant this to all for Jesus sake, Amen.