“What event in lIFE today is the most devastating thing YOU CAN experience? The ANSWER IS to discover your partneR’S unfaithfulNESS in love.”

I’m Dennis Finnan, host and speaker on the World, the Word & You! Broadcast, and in a moment we’ll examine this pandemic issue of immorality and its serious consequences today…

… Unless you’ve come from Mars recently, everyone is aware of the terrible immorality and lies our shameless previous president of the United States exposed the nation to over the past decade. Indeed, it was a tragic chain of events to learn of the absolute outrageous conduct our highest leader indulged in, by carrying on lewd sexual activities with multiple women throughout his political career, particularly the Monica Lewinsky affair. What’s so tragic about that, was not that it happened, as bad as that was, but how the American public and our congressional leaders responded to it. For if you summed up the issue, Americans and their leaders, by an overwhelming majority, felt it was perfectly right and understandable to engage in and even lie about sex. One politician said the best policy is: "Never tell. If questioned lie about it. If caught say as little as possible."  That about sums up the paganized American mind these days. Well, on today’s broadcast, I want to address this issue of infidelity, adultery and unfaithfulness in marriage with my message, THE SCARLET SIN…

… What one word in the English language pertaining to marital relationships does everyone believe is important? The answer is MONOGAMY! Monogamy in marriage means the absolute unending intimate sexual faithfulness of spouses to each other for a lifetime of marriage. Indeed if questioned, almost all people agree this is the ideal object, desire and hope for marriage. However, if one examines statistics today, they will find that monogamy has almost disappeared from modern marriages nationally and worldwide too. According to Annette Lawson, author of "Adultery," published by Basic Books,

"Researchers have arrived at a general consensus…suggesting that 25-50% of married women have at least one lover after they are married in any given marriage. Married men probably stray more often than married women, perhaps from 50-65% by the age of forty."

Other pollsters and statisticians have similar findings. In the interest of time, it appears that almost 50% of married men and women today have had or are having an extramarital affair. How sad and disheartening this is! Yet the fact remains, since we live in a secularized society that has cast off the previous generations sexual restraints, more and more young people are falling prey to the Hollywood idea that monogamy in marriage is simply an old fashioned ideal, and not really desirable anymore for 21^st century Americans.

Are we to believe this and succumb to its devastating destruction of marriage and the home? The answer is a resounding NO! So then, permit me to first tell you what God says about marital unfaithfulness, simply called “adultery.”

In the Bible, we find God carefully explains His intention for sexual relationships between male and female. In plain and simple language, God says in the Ten Commandments,

Exo 20:14 ( NLT ) ""Do not commit adultery."

I can’t emphasize that commandment more clearly. Throughout the Scriptures from the Old Testament to the New, God warns mankind that marital unfaithfulness is a serious transgression of love and more, God’s unalterable law for our proper living in His universe. Why? Well for starters, the origin of the family in the purpose of God lies within the purity and union of the man and the woman. This is the truest expression of God’s image we all have been created in.

Interestingly, God gives no reason why we must abstain from sexual adultery or fornication, because, none is required. Once this sin is committed, everyone knows the destructive nature of its consequences. Adultery is sin not only against God, but against the mate of marriage, their family, even society itself, because society  -- is a union of intact families.

The sin which blights marriage and destroys families is the enemy of all society. It is often called the “Scarlet Sin.” You see my friend; I feel the greatness of any nation depends upon the purity, strength and character of its people. Indeed, the adulterer is the greatest enemy of the home and state. This is why our forefathers put such great emphasis on supporting, protecting and promoting the Judeo-Christian image of a family. Even God tells us this in,

Prov 14:34 ( NLT ) "Godliness exalts a nation, but sin is a disgrace to any people."

Not only is adultery a sin against the marriage partner, their families, society and the nation, but more -- the whole human race! Heredity is a tremendous reality of our humanity. The unity and union of mankind is not a fairytale but a fact. God says,

Rom 5:19 ( NLT ) "Because one person disobeyed God, many people became sinners. But because one other person obeyed God, many people will be made right in God’s sight."

That second part of that verse is of course, the root of our redemption. The heredity of sin is natural, negative and destructive, as adultery is evidence of it. But in our need of redemption, to be saved from the eternal consequences of our sins, God offers a supernatural and positive forgiveness through Jesus Christ.

But now let’s examine some of the causes of the sin of adultery. Does unfaithfulness or infidelity just happen? Is it an inherent aspect of our lives? Frankly the answer is “yes,” because we are sinners by nature. But, does that mean we can’t help ourselves? The answers to these questions will hopefully be found here today.

To begin, infidelity is about unlawful and unbiblical sexual relations with another human being. But more fundamentally, adultery or infidelity whatever name you choose to use, is about deep dishonesty and wicked deception. Adulterers have to deceivingly lie to account for their whereabouts and the use of their time apart from their marriage mates.

Now, why do people have affairs? The answer of course fundamentally is sin! It is sin to commit adultery, to have intimate sexual relationships of any kind with another outside the bonds of marriage. That’s God’s Law with no exceptions! The Bible repeatedly warns that the commission of sexual acts of infidelity, indeed of any sort, has grave consequences. In the Old Testament among the Israelites God warned,

Lev 20:10-13 ( NLT ) ""If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife… his father’s wife… or daughter-in-law, both the man and the woman must be put to death…. They have acted contrary to nature and are guilty of a capital offense. 13 "The penalty for homosexual acts is death to both parties. They have committed a detestable act and are guilty of a capital offense."

This sin of sexual infidelity is trumpeted throughout the Bible. Any act, outside the confines of a monogamous union of a man and a woman, is so evil in God’s sight, that He deemed that no sexually immoral adulterer or homosexual was allowed to live on, in the land of God ’s promises! Now, according to modern standards this is frightening and simply unacceptable. But friend, realize this is the Word of the God who created us, and it is God who has the right to set the rules for our lives and living. Now what does the New Testament say about sexual unfaithfulness? Listen again to God speaking to us,

Eph 5:5-6 ( NLT ) "You can be sure that no [sexually] immoral, impure, person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God… 6 Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the terrible anger of God comes upon all those who disobey Him."

Heb 13:4 ( NLT ) "Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery."

Rev 21:8 ( NLT ) "… the [sexually[ immoral, —their doom is in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur. This is the second death.""

Repeatedly in the Bible, God commands us to avoid at all costs, the SCARLET SIN of adultery; and, all forms of sexual immorality. The fact that a past president of the United States lied under oath and said he didn’t commit adultery because he supposedly didn’t have sexual intercourse was ludicrous! His vile actions and impure relationships with a young Whitehouse intern were just as evil and immoral in the sight of God.

Now knowing God’s Word on the matter then should be enough to avoid this sin at all costs, unless of course you don’t believe in God or His Word. Unfortunately, a growing majority of Americans are in this latter category. But be warned, simply because you refuse to believe something doesn’t cancel the truth of it or its consequences. God says He will “judge” the adulterer and “all” sexually immoral people. Yes, immorality and infidelity carry a high price not only in eternity but here and now too. For instance, immorality destroys marriages and families, leads to sexual transmitted diseases even death, ruins your reputation among others, destroys your ability to truly love, and of course if you are a Christian, ruins your usefulness to God’s service. Moreover, after all that, God promises to bring eternal judgment on all such unrepentant sinners.

Now there are many excuses for adultery. Many men step out of faithfulness in marriage in the quest for money, power and control. Often a woman falls into adultery because of marital loneliness, frustration, dissatisfaction or excessive neediness. Still others sin by reason of anger or revenge. Again I say to you all, these excuses, although in human terms give a reason for infidelity, they will not be excused at the court of Heaven, for all adultery, immorality and sexual infidelity is a personal choice you make!

Yes, sexual immorality is something everyone can avoid! Infidelity is something that must not happen to you or me. Now how can one avoid falling into these terribly destructive sins? Here are six positive suggestions to help everyone avoid the “Scarlet Sin” of sexual immorality…

1. CONFESS THAT MONOGAMY IN MARRIAGE IS NOT SOMETHING NATURAL

Yes, this is a key truth that we must acknowledge. We are all “sinners” by nature, and obedience to this aspect of God’s command for us is not in itself inherent in us. The truth is we all want to personally gratify our physical urges and wants regardless of the effect upon others. If we are upfront with this and admit it, we can then begin to avoid falling into the sin of immorality. If you want to be faithful in your marriage, you will, for a lifetime, have to work hard at it. But in so doing you can have victory and God will bless your home and heart with faithfulness. I thank God that my wife and I have celebrated our 41st wedding anniversary this year and both of us have kept our vows to be faithful to each other. Yet, we have admitted and confessed to each other, we are capable of sinning against each other’s love and God’s Word in the matter of sexual gratification outside of our love. Therefore, if we are not careful about our relationships with the opposite sex, we both agree we can easily fall in this sin that consumes so many.

2. SINCE WE ARE SINNERS, WE MUST AVOID AT ALL COSTS COMPROMISING RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX

Now personally, I do not believe that a married man or woman, can have an intimate friendship with one of the opposite sex outside of one’s marriage mate. Any friendships must be within the confines of a joint relationship that includes the husband and wife. Invariably, intimate conversations, togetherness without one’s mate, with a member of the opposite sex can fuel and ignite unholy sexual forces within us that unless leashed, cannot be stopped until its fateful and tragic end. Husbands and wives, guard your relationships, and reserve your intimate friendships for your marriage partner alone. Enjoy his or her company and plan to do enjoyable things together, regularly. Your wife or husband is to be your very best friend! Those who fail to cultivate this are in danger of maintaining a faithful heart towards one another.

3. COMMIT YOURSELVES TO CONTINUED “SPIRITUAL” GROWTH

Without the help of God and His cleansing Word, the chances of failure in faithfulness within marriage is great these days. In the Bible we are told,

Psa 127:1 ( NLT ) "Unless the LORD builds a house, the work of the builders is useless…"

The house of marriage that successfully stands and weathers the storms of life is usually to be found in the one that honors God and the principles of His Word. If you’re a Christian and married today, you must continue to cultivate a personal spiritual relationship with Jesus Christ, but also together with your spouse! It’s crucial that you both grow spiritually and together. Today, if you are not doing this, invite Jesus Christ into your life and home. Make Him the head of the household, the Lord of your relationships and God will bless and protect your marriage and hearts. God wants your marriage to be successful and He is ready and willing to help all who surrender themselves to Him.

4. CONFRONT ANY MARITAL PROBLEMS BEFORE THEY HAVE A CHANCE TO GROW  

Friend know this, there is no perfect marriage! Why? Because we are all sinners! When two sinners come together they will inevitably find difficulty and problems. The real problem occurs when we come together, that one or the other partner is silent about their difficulties. In time that silence grows inside and begins to eat away at the love and heart of the marriage. However, couples can choose to confront problems regularly. Talk about them, share them, be man or woman enough to raise whatever issue it is that you are having difficulty with. Also, be sure you have allowed your partner in marriage the right to confront you with their needs, dissatisfaction, or trouble without you getting angry, mocking them, or sloughing it off as irrelevant. Unresolved marital problems often end in extramarital affairs, and statistics show they do!

5. AVOID AT ALL COSTS THE VIEWING OF PORNOGRAPHY AND THE READING OF IMMORAL LITERATURE

Today we are barraged with sensuality due to Hollywood , slick magazine and literature publishers. So many men are falling to pornography as never before, especially, because of easy access on the internet, through video rentals, and magazine availability. Nothing destroys a man or a woman’s ability to intimately love one’s mate, than for the eye gate and mind to be flooded with the vision and sexual fantasies of unreal people and relationships. If you want to destroy your marriage, or the ability to have a faithful blossoming marriage, then proceed to participate in the world of pornography! Friend, stay away, run away, flee from it at all costs and tear from your eyes and mind, anything that temps you in these areas, and makes you weak toward it. Most of what is portrayed these days is just that  -- unreal surgically or drug altered humanity, and creates in you an inability to accept anything natural anymore. True satisfaction is therefore lost. 

6. ACCEPT THE FACT THAT MONOGAMOUS LOVE IS SOMETHING THAT YOU MUST WORK AT FOR A LIFETIME!  

Some well said, “True love is not a feeling, it is a commitment of the will to satisfy another’s at your own expense. Lust is the opposite, it is the desire for self satisfaction at the expense of another.” Did you get that? Do you want your mate to be faithful? Do you want to be faithful? Then work hard and sacrificially at it! You must at all costs, cultivate a continuing romance between you and you spouse. Let me illustrate. Do you ever surprise your mate with "buddy" gifts, that don’t represent any special occasion? Do you initiate and go out on dates often with your spouse? Do you plan vacations and times to do fun things together? Do you spend regular time away from work, together? I know what children can bring to a marriage. My wife and I had five of them, and the extra work that it brought to both of us was consuming. But nothing is more important than you being with your spouse regularly and often, and alone and away from all others. Friend, no job, no career, no bank account or just busyness of life can be a substitute for keeping love alive in your hearts! So don’t sacrifice it for anything in this world! Dedicate your life and heart to living for your mate, wanting to satisfy their every need, and serving them the same. If you do this, your mate will respond in kind and reciprocate and true love will bloom and blossom as never before.

Well, these are just some simple suggestions to avoid the marital infidelity many have suffered which brings sorrow and divorce. Don’t jump from the frying pan of lust into the fires of the “SCARLET SIN” of sexual immorality. Remember, God promises He will judge you and bring His disciplines in your life for it. And, if unrepentant, He will send you to Hell for it too.

 Now, if you are unhappy in marriage, you need to sit down with your mate and tell him or her exactly what it is, that bothers you and what you need to be fulfilled. If that cannot be worked out, seek out counseling by a reputable “Christian” counselor. Then be sure you are in a right relationship with Jesus Christ. Do you know Him as your Lord and Savior? This comes simply by turning your life and heart over to Jesus Christ, and allowing Him to make order out of your chaos and to set your feet on solid ground in the midst of the storms of life. Trust Jesus Christ, call upon Him to save you, and believe in your heart His promise that He died for your sins and paid for them by His death. If you turn your life fully over to God through Jesus Christ, the greatest thing will happen. God will begin working all things FOR YOU, rather than against you.

Then your marriage, home and heart can begin the journey to restoration and a life of satisfaction, joy and peace. Oh it is my prayer that the growing statistics for adultery and immorality which are pandemic today  -- stop -- and the SCARLET SIN among us be washed white as snow, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Will you pray with me for that now?

…The Bottom line is the sin of adultery and immorality are growing every day as the world we live in rejects God and His Son Jesus Christ. Why even in the churches of America , adultery is a growing sin. Why? The answer is because men and women are not cultivating their faith in Christ and the love of their hearts in their marriage vows and commitment. Friend, if you are married today make it your number one priority after your commitment to love Jesus Christ to do all to satisfy your mate’s needs. God will help you accomplish this, and He will bring the bonding cement of reciprocation that lasts for a lifetime. It’s all possible through Jesus Christ the Lord.

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·         Radio talk # 3906

·         Broadcast date: September 24, 2006

·         Speaker: Dennis L. Finnan, Commentator

·         Program: The World, the Word & You! Radio Broadcast

·         Address: P.O. Box 60033 Grand Junction, CO 81506

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The World, the Word & You! Broadcast is a non-denominational ministry based on the historic fundamental evangelical interpretation of the Scriptures. A copy of our doctrinal statement is available upon request. These weekly radio commentaries are not exhaustive studies of any particular subject due to the time limit of broadcasting. Actual broadcasts can be heard in selected areas around the nation, as funding provides. Dennis Finnan has been the speaker for over 24 years, and serves as General Director.

* These transcripts are available free of charge to all who desire them. Also available are actual audio radio messages on CD's, and printed booklets of each message. A free listing of recent messages is available upon request also.

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