“WHAT WORD IN OUR ENGLISH LANGUAGE HAS MORE POWER TO GENERATE HAPPINESS, HATE, FEAR, COURAGE, ACTION AND RESPONSE IN AN INDIVIDUAL, THAN ANY OTHER? THE ANSWER IN ONE WORD is, ‘LOVE!’”

I’m Dennis Finnan, host and speaker on the World, the Word & You! Broadcast and in a moment we’ll talk about the MANY FACETS & FACES OF LOVE …

…Today we’re talking about a much used and abused, word and emotion called “love.” In the Bible, this word is found in various forms, upwards of 551 times. It has many facets and faces, as well as meanings. Unfortunately, I believe this wonderful word’s real meaning has been lost to our confused world of humanity. For instance, Hollywood and the media have so abused it, that what we expect from it has either saddened or enraged many who wrongly apply and utilize its power and grace. So on this broadcast, I want to examine that little but powerful word, “love,” and do it from a biblical perspective, to give us all a new appreciation for one of the world’s most volatile, and beautiful emotions we can experience. But now let’s pause one more time and listen to this…

… As we begin to look at this powerful word in any language, the word “love,” we discover love is a difficult concept and emotion to understand. Basically, we refer to it in so many differing ways. The famous journalist, H.L. Menchen defined love as, “being in a state of natural hysteria, or a perpetual state of anesthesia.” The bachelor, Plato who must have had a bad experience with “love,” defined it as, “a grave mental disease!” Another definition, almost comical is, “love is a feeling you feel, when you feel that you’re going to get a feeling you’ve never felt before.”

This latter one, while amusing does in a sense describe what occurs when the emotion of “love” has smitten you. However, most definitions and descriptions of the word love are either inadequate or just plain wrong! Now the reason I think this is true is because the word, “love” involves so many different aspects of our human personality, particularly both emotion and volition.

Now unfortunately in the English language, there is only one word for this emotion it is -- “love,” -- and to clearly define its meaning, application and use, one has to resort to many other words with it. Yet in the ancient Greek language, especially classical Greek we discover the word love is found in four powerful and meaningful words. They are, (1) STORGE, (2) EROS, (3) PHILIOS, (4) AGAPE. Let’s look at these many facets and faces found in such an emotion, that all of us have experienced at one time or another in our lives. Now…

1.  THE FIRST WORD FOR LOVE IS – “STORGE”

Our first word, “storge” (στοργή storgē) in Modern Greek simply means a "NATURAL AFFECTION" one can feel towards something pleasant and attractive. It was a catch-all word, usually applied to describe the feeling of care and concern between parents and children. It can also describe one’s affection for a caregiver, or even a pet. Basically, it was an uncommon word and biblically it is not found at all in the Greek New Testament Greek…

2. A SECOND WORD FOR LOVE IS – “EROS”

Our second word, “eros” (ἔρως érōs) is the Greek word describing “PHYSICAL ATTRACTION.” From it we get our English word, “erotic.” Unfortunately Hollywood, the entertainment film capital has turned this word into a money-making negative emotion that deeply stirs the hearts of all. “Eros” is the strong word for passionate love, with a deep sensual desire and longing. The Modern Greek word "erotas" means "(romantic) love".

Although “eros” is initially a strong feeling deep in our emotions toward another person, it is usually based purely on physical appreciation of the outward and inner beauty of a person. This type of love is perhaps the most powerful of all! So powerful, motivating, and captivating that it often defies our reason, will and even discretion. Yet, in its pure definition, it is a good and important word, for “eros” love is a primary building block of all marriage relationships.

Another word more up-to-date for “eros” is the word “romance.” Within the confines of morality and devotion, this becomes a lovely expression of caring for and pleasing another whom we love. Outside of morality, God’s command for relations between the sexes, it becomes an base emotion and evil thing which God condemns, for often it is found in some as a perverted attraction to another, that causes, “stalking,” sexual aggression and abuse, selfish passion and self gratification at the expense and even peril of another.

However, we have some Scriptures that speak of “eros,” love that is good and wholesome, particularly in a marriage relationship. For instance, in the Old Testament Book called, the “Song of Solomon,” we have an historical record of the romance of King Solomon with a Shulammite woman. The “snapshots” in the book portray the joys of love in courtship and pleasures in marriage, and counteract both the extremes of asceticism and of lust. Moreover, the rightful place of physical love, within marriage only, is clearly established and honored there. For example, we read in,

Song of Solomon 4:10 (NIV)  "How delightful is your love… my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume than any spice!"

Here God’s Word describes “eros” in action.  Passionately, it may involve wearing an exotic smelling perfume, or an attractive outfit to please and or attract the one you love. Then again, the word “eros” can be seen in King Solomon’s expression for eros love…

Song of Solomon 8:7 (NIV)  “Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.”

Solomon in his Old Testament book then defines eros love as something strong and unyielding, intense, invincible and priceless. Indeed eros love might also be called, “sensual love.”  This by the way is not bad or evil for it can be a wholesome and important facet of a good marriage relationship, but only when it is found with two other facets of love that operational too -- that is “phileo” and “agapao.” So, let’s look at these other two words for love…

3.  THE THIRD WORD FOR LOVE IS – “PHILEO”

Philia (φιλία philía) is a third Greek word basically meaning “LOVE BETWEEN FRIENDS,” a love which can best be described as affectionate love one has for others. It can be a family member or even a close friend. This love generates from common interests, goals, similar likes and tastes, and in turn involves togetherness, mutual sharing, and the giving of comfort to another. The goodness of our world revolves around this kind of love which can morally be given to others apart from the sexual context which only is to be found within the confines of a monogamous marriage. Now, phileo is absolutely necessary to accompany “eros” love, or “eros” becomes abuse, or simply selfish gratification. Sadly, many marriages today are begun on the basis of “eros” love, and “phileo” love never appears or is experienced.

What happens is such lack of this second love eventually shows itself when the other mate no longer takes interest in the desires and likes of the other. Sharing few to no common interests, “eros” love can only grow stale and then becomes an obligation, rather than mutual enjoyment. Before long, interest in each other drifts away and hence society’s divorce and adultery rate has skyrocketed. Indeed, one must build into marriage at every stage this “phileo” love, a love for the person for who they are.

Friend, if you’re married, I ask you -- do you take an interest in your mate’s interests, goals, likes and tastes? If not, you’d better begin to do that, not out of duty as much as out of fanning the flames of your phileo love for him or her. If you want your marriage and love relationship to prosper, bloom and burn brightly, “phileo” love is the long lasting fuel to light your love and maintain a continuing joy and appreciation for the one your love!

Now in addition to this, the Bible speaks of another love, a love that is actually the highest and most holy form of love, the love God alone gives to all who come to Him. It is the love word in the Greek language called “agape.”

4. THE FOURTH WORD FOR LOVE IS – “AGAPE”

Agapē (ἀγάπη agápē) is the word God exclusively uses to describe His love for us who are His spiritual children. For us in this life, it is a word that must also accompany our “eros,”love and our “phileo” love, to be complete and lasting.  What is its meaning? Well, “agapeo” is more than sensual love, more than affectionate love, it is “VOLITIONAL LOVE!”  Volitional love is the guardian and preserver of sensual and affectionate love. It is the love that drives and cements all others together into what God originally intended of this emotion and word, love.

Now this word and emotion is not a love of attraction in any form to the other. It is not an admiration or pleasure taken from any excellency in the object or being of another. It is not an impulse from feelings, nor motivated by any lack in another. No, “agape” love is a love strictly of the will in us. It is a determined, unconditional, self-sacrificing, selfless “choice” based solely upon one’s desire to fulfill. In a more, concise and practical definition, agape love is:

“an unconditional commitment to care for the welfare and interests of an imperfect person, out of no gain in doing so, except fulfilling your desire and will to do it.”

Let’s look at this word found in the Bible as God reveals it to us. We see its use in the wonderful Scripture found in,

John 3:16-17 (NASB)  “”For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. 17 “For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world should be saved through Him.”

Rom 5:8 (NASB)  “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

These two great verses begin to give us an understanding of this powerful love word, agape, and how God Himself describes it for us. First note, Agape is an “action” word! It never stands alone without moving out to act or do something. It always is found in a selfless, self-sacrificing usage of the one who wills it, displays and gives it. This of course, is the love story of the Bible. God loves His creation, mankind so much, that even though we have all sinned and fallen under God’s holy law of justice, God could not and would not abandon us as sinners.

The Bible tells this story of God’s love. We learn in Scripture that the entire human race is fallen under God’s holy judgment of sin, and as such all of us will be judged in eternity. God’s word warns there is a “Hell” coming for all of us, unless someone can save us and redeem us from the sin penalty that awaits all. So Scripture reminds us,

Rom 3:23 (NIV)  “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

Rom 6:23 (NASB)  “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

1 John 4:9-10 (NASB)  “By this, the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”

In these verses we are told about our sin penalty, but also of God’s love seen in the action of God’s determined “will” to save us at His own personal and great expense.

Now in human terms, “agape” love is an aspect of God’s many facets of love that can only be expressed when an individual comes to receive God into one’s life. Listen to the Word of God,

John 1:11-12 (NIV)  “He[God the Son]  came to that  which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 12 Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—“

1 John 2:5 (NIV)  “But if anyone obeys his word [accepts His son] , God’s love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him:”

As such God wants all marriages and love between a husband and wife to be complete and full. But this authentic love, with all its fullness and joy, cannot be experienced until we love God and what He has done in His love for us. You see, we are built by God to be “responders.” God reached out with His will and chose to save us, we who were imperfect, unloving, unwilling and unworthy sinners. How good to know God loves us this way. The Bible states,

Jer 31:3 (NIV)  “The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.”

In like manner, God wants that kind of love to be expressed between a husband and wife and to grow to this full extent. For when it does, it too becomes lasting, regardless of time, and even loss. This is the kind of love that as old age comes brings 50-60 years of a monogamous marriage celebration so rare these days.

Yes, most marriages today rarely reach this stage. Mainly, because most in marriage rarely seek God’s power to fulfill it. How about you my friend; is your marriage one of “giving to get” -- where you only give out, if the other gives first, or returns the giving? Is your marriage one of “duty” where you comply with what is expected of you and no more? If so, you have not reached the mature stage of activating your “will” to love the other, unconditionally. Is your marriage one that is fueled only by outward attraction?

This type of love only lasts for  a short while. Even the most beautiful of women and the most handsome of men, both grow old and all of us in time lose that youthful attractiveness. “Eros” love must be accompanied by phileo love and this must be accompanied by agapeo love. For when all three are operational – there will be TRUE LOVE, LASTING LOVE, BEAUTIFUL LOVE, the love of God operating in you.

Now, how can you get this love of the will and volition operational? First of all, by seeing and experiencing it in God’s Son Jesus Christ. Yes, God loved you so much that He went to the cross and died for your sins while you were yet a sinner, and essentially none of us cared! But, it’s when you realize how much God loves you that draws a decided response. This is called the salvation experience.

Acts 16:31 (NIV)  “They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.””

You see, when you believe God’s love and accept Jesus Christ into your life as your Lord and Savior, this special agape love blossoms forth in return, and says “thank you” to God with the dedication of your life, to forever be lived for Him. How is this done? The “will” of a new heart God gives you is energized and God’s agape love flows forth in return. This is exactly what God says happens to those who are spiritually born again. Listen,

John 7:38 (NIV)  “Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.””

Well friend, there are many facets and faces of love. But these three mentioned in the Bible, need to be operational in you. If any of them are lacking, why not today call out to God and ask Him to give you the ability to love in this manner, First of all for God Himself, that is the Lord Jesus Christ who loves and care for us. Then, for your mate, your family, and your friends, and even for a stranger. I’m not talking about sexual love, that is reserved only for marriage, but phileo love, and agape love. Together, these can make the world a sweeter place, a home a more gentle and beautiful place, and Heaven itself will have come to your home and heart.

Oh, may God show you the wonders of His great love, and may Jesus Christ’s love revealed in his going to the cross for your sins, ever motivate such volitional love in return to God, and those around us. Say friend, if you’re married, or contemplating marriage, why not make the following seven-fold commitment? If you do it will begin the process of fortifying true love in your home and heart. Say these things in a prayer of your will to God.

1. I will place my spouse’s needs and wholesome desires above my own at all times.

2. I will daily love, honor and encourage my spouse.

3. I will allow my spouse her or his imperfections, and love her or him all the more to help them overcome them.

4. I will at all times, seek resolution and growth when conflicts arise.

5. I will not set unrealistic goals for my spouse, but be patient, kind and positive during their fulfillment.

6. I will not stop nurturing romance through daily care, to keep myself attractive, and to show tangible expressions of love to my spouse.

7. I will be an example of God’s love to my spouse also, by first loving God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength, and then showing my spouse the same.

These are just a few practical ways we can manifest true love and show the many facets and faces of love. Thank God, He loves us so much that God the Son, our Lord Jesus Christ was willing to even die for us. Such love demands our all in return. May God so give that heart to you today. Amen.

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·         Radio talk #3506

·         Broadcast date: August 27, 2006

·         Speaker: Dennis L. Finnan, Commentator

·         Program: The World, the Word & You! Radio Broadcast

·         Address: P.O. Box 60033 Grand Junction, CO 81506

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The World, the Word & You! Broadcast is a non-denominational ministry based on the historic fundamental evangelical interpretation of the Scriptures. A copy of our doctrinal statement is available upon request. These weekly radio commentaries are not exhaustive studies of any particular subject due to the time limit of broadcasting. Actual broadcasts can be heard in selected areas around the nation, as funding provides. Dennis Finnan has been the speaker for over 27 years, and serves as General Director.

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