" ‘I FORGIVE YOU!’ THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL PHRASE CHRISTIANS
LOVE TO HEAR AND TALK ABOUT. YET FOR MANY, IT IS
SOMETHING GROSSLY MISUNDERSTOOD.'"

 I’m Dennis Finnan, host and speaker on the World, the Word & You! Broadcast and in a moment we’ll talk about this issue of forgiveness especially in the world of Christianity…

… Well now, it’s time for our first broadcast pause to listen to some wonderful music, after which I’ll return to talk with you about today’s often misunderstood subject of forgiveness! Stay tuned…

…It is quite common these days to hear or read about some gross violation of human relationships in our evil and violent society. From the recent terrorist London Railway bombings and murders, and even the violent unsolved murder and abduction of the Holloway girl’s disappearance in Aruba   - all seem to dominate the nightly news. Yet in the aftermath, the loved ones of these victims who are left behind and suffer the loss, are often left devastated. However, today there is increasing pressure in our secularized society for these "victims and their relatives" to indiscriminately offer the perpetrators of such crimes ¾ the outward gesture of forgiveness! From the Columbine High School shooting tragedies of the 1990’s, to the murderous rampage of terrorist killers, victims are pressured to come forth and confess publicly their forgiveness of those who have so wronged them. Well, what do you think? Is today's concept of forgiveness out of hand? Is the truth surrounding it, getting twisted these days, or is the non-Christian public moving closer to the New Testament teachings on this issue of forgiveness? Well after another momentary pause for some good music, I'll return to clear the air on this timely issue, of what it means to forgive, and how you are to practically apply it in life's situations…

…How often have you experienced someone wronging you and then coming to you and saying, "Say, I'm sorry about my offense, so let's drop it and forget it and get on with our lives." Or, "You have to forgive me, no matter what, because you are a Christian." Words or concepts such as these seem to often fill the aftermath and air of conflicts, injuries and wrongdoings experienced in interpersonal relationships of life and living. The news often promotes such victims who publicly get on the air, to unconditionally forgive brutal rapists, savage murderers, serial killers, and corrupt abusers of life for high crimes and infractions of human relationships. It's almost as if, without the victims confessing forgiveness, they in effect become society's criminals, for not publicly showing forth this new concept of secularized love. Now, what exactly is forgiveness and how, when and why is it to be exercised? Let's look into the Bible and find our answers.

Our first text of study on the subject reveals Jesus' words.

Luke 6:35-37 (NLT)  “”Love your enemies! Do good to them! Lend to them! And don’t be concerned that they might not repay. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for He is kind to the unthankful and to those who are wicked. 36 You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate. 37 “Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. Stop criticizing others, or it will all come back on you. If you forgive others, you will be forgiven.”

Wow! Jesus clearly taught here that those who were to be pleasing to the Creator God, were to be people who learned the art of sacrifice and forgiveness. Again, Jesus said in another passage,

Mat 6:14-15 (NLT)  “”If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Now clearly, Jesus is telling us that our very own forgiveness by God, may well depend on our ability and desire to forgive those who wrong us. For failure to forgive others, seems to mean God will not or better, cannot forgive us our trespasses. Is this what the passage means? 

Well for starters, let's define the word "forgiveness." In Webster's New World College Dictionary we read that forgiveness is "(1) giving up resentment against or the desire to punish; to stop being angry with, and or to pardon. (2) to give up all claim to punish; or overlook, (3) to cancel a debt and be inclined to forgive." That pretty much covers the gamut of what today is considered – “forgiveness.” Yet, the clearest definition that fits a Biblical view is the third one ¾ "to cancel a debt and be inclined to forgive." So the question is how are we to apply and  handle this when wronged?

First of all, forgiveness is a costly act of extreme kindness and love, which God has set the example for mankind to follow. We are told throughout the Bible, that God has "forgiven" us for all our wrongdoings against Him, and all our sins against Heaven itself. The Bible says in,

Hebrews 8:12 (NLT)  “And I will forgive their wrongdoings, and I will never again remember their sins.””

Here it is intimated that God has a plan to forgive our sins and wrongdoings, through which we have offended our holy Creator God; and, when God forgives us our sins, He says He will remember then no more. Now of course we must understand, God cannot and never will overlook or just forget our sins.  We often assume this wrong idea! In fact, there is an old adage that says, "Bury the hatchet, but leave the handle sticking out."  This of course means it's there to take up against the perpetrator whenever the victim feels he or she is wronged again, or decides to take it back. That of course, is not biblical at all! But when God no longer remembers our sins, He is actually saying  -- He will no longer hold the penalty of sin against you, and in effect never ever again charge you with the crime(s) committed and forgiven. So, the truth is ¾

GOD IS WILLING TO FORGIVE US OF ALL OUR SINS, AND ONCE HE DOES, HE WILL NO LONGER HOLD THEM AGAINST US.

But we must ask – “On what basis is God's forgiveness offered?” Again, we go to the Bible and find the answer. We read in,

Luke 17:3 (NLT)  “I am warning you! If another believer sins, rebuke him; then if he repents, forgive him.”

Here we have God’s “conditions” surrounding offering forgiveness to others. One key ingredient in the formula for forgiveness is the necessity of the perpetrator of the crime or wrongdoing to genuinely "REPENT."

Now repentance is an important word, for God's forgiveness of sin depends totally upon the offender offering it up to the victim and the courts of law, his or her genuine repentance. Repentance means, " to be sorry for our sin or wronging and in light of this to change one's heart and mind to fully agree with the law and the victim as to the wickedness of the offense; Furthermore, it must include making genuine restitution where possible, coupled with a change in one's life to reflect it."  Now that's a long definition, but it is a necessary one! Anything short of that is not repentance. Indeed, Jesus said that forgiveness can never be offered to the unrepentant sinning offender, until they come to this condition of the heart, mind and will.

Now this goes for receiving God's forgiveness in salvation too. What does it mean to believe and be saved? It means ”we are sorry for our sins against God, with a corresponding change of heart to agree with God as to their evil and worthiness of judgment. Along with this, is a sincere desire to change, make restitution where possible and to show forth a new life to reflect this change and agreement with God." So to receive God’s forgiveness of our sins begins with…

(1) believing what God says about our sins   

God says we've all sinned, we are all guilty before Him and worthy of death for even the smallest infraction. Anything short of absolute perfection and sinlessness is worthy of separation from God and punishment in the eternal fires of Hell (Matt. 5:48 ).  So to receive God's forgiveness through Christ's death on the Cross requires us to agree with God right here and now. Secondly, to believe and be forgiven by God of our sins,

(2)  we must trust that God's way of redemption requires us to make a positive step toward showing this change of heart  

This is done by personally "confessing our sins to God!" We must agree with God, and confess our wrongdoings directly to Him through prayer. Repentance requires this in our heart communication with God. Then, once we've confessed our sins, and once we've trusted that God's righteous judgments against sin are right and holy, then the last part of repentance and faith is to come forth. It is a heartfelt desire to change one's course of our actions and be in alignment with God's will and direction for life and living. Although in salvation, this change of direction only comes when God grants us the ability to do it. You see as a sinner we are hopelessly lost and unable to stop sinning. But with God's gift of "repentance unto life," He enables us to change, and to believe and agree with Him when we ask. So salvation and forgiveness of sin then, is a free gift from God given by His grace. So writes the apostle Paul.

Eph 2:8-9 (NLT)  “God saved you by his special favor when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. 9 Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.”

So now forgiveness from God makes sense, doesn't it? God indeed forgives sin, but only when genuine confession is made, and were necessary receipt of restitution is given for the crimes and offenses. The latter is fulfilled by Jesus Christ being the substitutionary "Lamb of God," who dies as “repayment” for our sins, thus satisfying the justice and holiness of God.

But now let's get back to this issue of forgiveness among men. Are victims and their families who suffer crimes and wrongdoings to just publicly tell the wrongdoers they are forgiven regardless of the penitence of their hearts? The answer is "yes and no." Yes, in the sense that we who are wronged need to cease harboring resentment against those who have wronged us. But this is a “heart condition,” not a life action. Yes, we must not harbor any further grudges, because harboring them shows resentment and the desire for revenge. The Bible tells us that ALL SINS, none excepted will ultimately be judged by God. Even ones that are gotten away with in this life, none will pass the bar of God's judgment in eternity. Listen now to God's Word….

Num 32:23 (NLT)  “… you may be sure that your sin will find you out.”

Exo 34:7 (NLT)  “I show this unfailing love to many thousands by forgiving every kind of sin and rebellion. Even so I do not leave sin unpunished…"””

God promises us He will expose all hidden and unpunished sin, and avenge all wrongdoers! We have His promise that His judgments for unrepentant sins will remain unforgiven. We also know God will be swift, sure and right in dealing with them! Therefore, we can turn over to God all the wrongs, hurts, all the suffering others have caused us, knowing God will deal with it on our behalf in His perfect timing. On this basis, we can and should forgive others wrongdoing no matter how grievous in our heart it is. But now, here's where the terrible misunderstanding of forgiveness comes in.

You see, forgiving others does not necessarily involve restoration of things and or relationships. Moreover, forgiving doesn't necessarily mean forgetting. What I mean by that is this.

Once a crime or sin has been carried out against another, it doesn't necessarily follow that the perpetrator continue on as if nothing happened or for business to return to normal. The Bible says there is a price, a temporal and eternal price for sin called “consequences.” Sometimes the results of sin are tragically irreversible. I think of the sin of our first parents. Adam and Eve were forgiven of their sin against God's goodness and love, but regardless of their being forgiven and they were, God no longer allowed them the privilege and blessing of living in the Garden of Eden, for they were driven out.

Gen 3:23-24 (NLT)  “So the LORD God banished Adam and his wife from the Garden of Eden, and he sent Adam out to cultivate the ground from which he had been made. 24 After banishing them from the garden, the LORD God stationed mighty angelic beings to the east of Eden . And a flaming sword flashed back and forth, guarding the way to the tree of life.”

The sinning couple, lost the privilege of sinless living, although God forgave them. Nothing then could bring it back in this life. There are other examples in Scripture of this principle of consequences for sins although forgiveness is granted.

For instance, there is the case of Moses. When he sinned against God by striking the rock for water rather than speaking to the rock, it cost Moses his life and personal living in the Promised Land he longed to enter. Well, then there is the case of King David's adultery with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband. God warned him that the murder and treachery would dog his family and children until he died of old age. You see, forgiveness can be granted, but it often carries with it the ensuing consequences. Furthermore, asking for restitution for losses suffered, often a legal process, is not unbiblical. Moreover, those who commit adultery against their mates, although they can be forgiven, a program of accountable restoration, and plan to avoid recurrence is biblically justified.

Most important of all is this. Forgiveness begins in the heart. As God has forgiven us, we must not harbor grudges, anger, resentment, or even revenge against those who have wrong us. If you are a Christian, you must forgive all who offend you no matter what the reason, but… forgiveness doesn't mean reconciliation without the evidence of full repentance! Jesus said,

Luke 17:3-4 (NLT)  “I am warning you! If another believer sins, rebuke him; then if he repents, forgive him. 4 Even if he wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, forgive him.””

Again notice what Jesus is saying. "If he [genuinely] repents, and asks your forgiveness," you are to accept it and as much as possible restore relationships, and where necessary ask for and receive restitution. If the perpetrator is not repentant, your have done your part by forgiving in the heart. However, all crimes must be paid for. They are not simply forgiven and forgotten.

Lastly, we must realize that when we refuse to forgive others regardless of their attitude toward their sin or us, we become the double victim! Holding grudges can cause bitterness to rise up and its effects can literally kill you! Depression and anger can so build up in us to actually begin a process of destroying us physically and mentally from within. Heart attacks, strokes, mental imbalance, and all forms of physical weakness can come to those who refuse to forgive others of sins against them real or imagined. So, the Lord God who created us warns us, as Christians we must forgive those who have wronged us, if we want to experience the life blessings of forgiveness from God.

Say friend, is there anyone whom you have not forgiven? Remember forgiveness begins inside of you, and such doesn't require interpersonal reconciliation, except there be true repentance. But it does require our hearts to be right. Now since God has forgiven us all our sins and no longer holds the penalty of sin against us; well, we too must adopt the same heavenly attitude and thinking. To do less, shows we either haven't understood God's forgiveness of us, or we have not truly experienced it ourselves, and we need to be saved from our sins. Are you saved my friend? Have you repented? I'm not asking if you are religious. Years back, John F. Kennedy Jr., his wife and sister-in-law perished in a plane crash. Bill Graham was interviewed for his comments. He said and I'm quoting from memory, "John Kennedy, Jr. was a deeply religious man." Well, I guess that inference was, that being deeply religious would have granted him forgiveness of sins and eternal life. Although Billy Graham has faithfully preached the true message of salvation, the implication is, that somehow God forgives us on some other scale.

Well, the better thing to have been said in response to Kennedy's tragic death is "If he had repented of his sins, he is now in the loving presence of God. But if he had not repented of his sins, he surely is suffering for them now and for eternity." You see, no one can know another's heart, except we ourselves.  The Bible confirms, God grants forgiveness of sins, but only to those who repent. I pray you have repented so you too can enter God's realm of forgiveness and grace. Nonetheless, the message of the Bible is this ¾ those who do not repent, nor exhibit a change of heart, God must forever withhold His loving forgiveness and the blessing that follow. May it not be so of you today my friend. Forgiveness is a gift from God to all who wish to receive it, and it should be a gift from you to all who have offended or harmed you provided they too repent.

Friend, let's get this concept of forgiveness straight. Let's tell the world that today's secularized use of it, as a means of displaying human righteousness, without the perpetrators genuine repentance, is not to be openly granted to anyone. But forgiveness within the heart must be granted to all who wrong us for that is the Master's command. As He has forgiven us through the gift of salvation, we too must forgive others in our hearts. However, that forgiveness is conditioned by the consequences of sin, and the necessary restoration where required. May these truths ever be your guide and stay.