“HERE’S A RIDDLE FOR YOU. WHAT TWO HOLY AND GOOD WORDS TODAY ARE CONSIDERED TABOO IN OUR 21st CENTURY WORLD OF PLURALISM AND POLITICAL CORRECTNESS? THE ANSWER IS: THE ‘BIBLE’ AND ‘SEX!’”

 I’m Dennis Finnan, host and speaker on the World, the Word & You! Broadcast and in a moment we’ll talk about these two words and their implication with our modern world we live in. Stay tuned…

…Say friend, what event in peoples lives today is perhaps the most devastating experience? Is it the entrance of sickness or even death? The answer is none of these, for I believe the most devastating event in a life today, is to discover your marriage partner has had “an affair.”

As we are now in an election year, we are hearing again the tragic events of our past president Bill Clinton’s immoral escapades of the 90’s.  Everyone is aware of the terrible sins of illicit sex and bold faced lies this shameless President of the United States exposed the nation to in past years. Indeed, it was tragic to learn of such absolute outrageous conduct the highest leader of the nation indulged in, by carrying on with women, throughout his political career and most publicly, the “Monica Lewinsky affair.” What’s so tragic about it is not that it happened as bad as that is, but how the American public and our congressional leaders responded to it. Americans and their leaders by a overwhelming majority, felt it was perfectly  all right and understandable for past President Bill Clinton to lie about his illicit “sexcapades.” Thus the slogan was coined: "Never tell… If questioned, lie about it… If caught, say as little as possible." Well, that about sums up the paganized American mindset these days, which has been thrown back into a “moral stone age.” Well, on today’s broadcast, I want to address this issue of morality and the abuse of it seen in our nation from a biblical perspective. Stay tuned…

…Say friend, what one word in the English language pertaining to marital relationships does everyone, deep down inside, really believe is important? The answer is “MONOGAMY!” Yes, although it doesn’t seem apparent in the practical living of many young people these days, monogamy in marriage is still the deep desire of those who want a happy and blessed life. Now this word “monogamy” carries the meaning,  “the absolute, unending intimate sexual faithfulness of mates to each other for a lifetime of marriage.”

Indeed if questioned, almost all people agree this is the object, desire and hope for marriage. However, if one reads statistics today, they will find that monogamy has almost disappeared from many modern marriages nationally and worldwide too. According to Annette Lawson, author of "Adultery," published by Basic Books she writes,

"Various researchers have arrived at a general consensus suggesting, that 25-50% of married women have at least one lover after they are married in any given marriage. Married men, stray more often than married women; perhaps from 50-65% of men by the age of forty."

Other pollsters and statisticians have similar reports. In the interest of time it appears that almost 50% of men and women today claim to have had or are having extramarital affairs! How sad and disheartening this is! Yet the fact remains, since we live in a secularized anti-moral society that has cast off previous generations sexual restraints, more and more young people are falling prey to the idea that monogamy in marriage is an ideal that simply isn’t possible nor desirable anymore. In its place extra and pre-marital sexual relationships have become common and the norm for today’s younger generation. Furthermore, a whole generation of young people are being taught the idea that moral absolutes and their self evident truths of the past are of no value to modern society. Are we to accept and believe this and succumb to its devastating destruction of societal morality, marriage and the home? The answer is a resounding NO!  

Permit me to share with you what the Bible has to say about morality and sex. We begin with two of the most common admonitions found in the New Testament written more than 20 centuries ago in the context of one of the most immoral societies ever to exist, the Roman empire ,

Heb 13:4 (NLT)  Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.

1 Th 4:2-3 (NIV)  “For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus.’ 3 It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality;

Throughout the Bible we find God’s clear intention for sexual relationships between men and women. In plain and simple language God says, beginning with the “Ten Commandments,”

Exo 20:14 (NLT) ""Do not commit adultery."

The Bible emphasizes this more strongly, ad “adultery” covers extra and pre-marital sex. Throughout the Scriptures, from the Old Testament to the New, God warns mankind that sexual infidelity is a serious transgression of God’s Law for our life and living. Interestingly, God gives no reason why we must abstain from sexual adultery or fornication, because, none is required. Once this sin is committed, everyone knows the destructive nature of its consequences. Adultery is sin not only against God, but against the marriage itself, one’s mates and the family, even society because society is basically a union of intact moral and upright families. Any sin which tarnishes marriage and destroys the family is the greatest enemy of all society!

Friend, the greatness of any nation strongly depends upon the purity, strength and character of its people and their societal and moral living. Indeed, the “adulterer,” the “fornicator,” “the sexual pervert” are the great enemies of the state. This is why our forefathers put great emphasis on supporting, protecting and promoting the Judeo-Christian image of the traditional family of one man and one woman with many children. And, this is exactly what we find this in the Bible. God tells us,

Prov 14:34 (NLT) "Godliness exalts a nation, but sin is a disgrace to any people."

Not only is adultery a sin against the marriage partner, their families, society and the nation but the whole human race! Heredity is a tremendous reality. The union of mankind is not a dream but a fact. God says,

Rom 5:19 (NLT) "Because one person disobeyed God, many people became sinners…"

This then is the root of all our evil today, Adam’s sin nature passed on to us all.  However Paul the apostle in the New Testament goes further in this verse and says,

Rom 5:19 (NLT) "Because one person disobeyed God, many people became sinners. But because one other person obeyed God, many people will be made right in God’s sight."

That second part is the root of our personal redemption. The heredity of sin is natural, negative and destructive. Adultery and all sexual relationships outside of marriage are evidence of this. But in our need of redemption, God offers a supernatural and positive redemption and change through Jesus Christ.

But now let’s examine some of the causes of our pandemic immorality and particularly the sin of adultery. Does adultery and illicit sex just happen? Is it unavoidable? Indeed we must confess, we are sinners but does that mean we can’t help ourselves? To begin, sexual immorality is about unlawful sexual relations with another human being. But more fundamentally adultery, infidelity whatever name you choose to use, is about dishonesty and deception. Adulterers have to lie to account for their whereabouts and the use of their time apart from their marriage mates.

Now, why do people have sexual affairs? The answer of course is sin! Yes, there is such a thing as moral absolutes and God the Creator gives them to us. In the Bible we are told it is a transgression of God’s law to commit adultery or have any form of intimate sexual relationships of any kind with another outside the bonds of a monogamous marriage. That’s God’s Law. In fact, the Bible warns and warns again that the commission of sexual infidelity of any sort has grave consequences. For instance, in the Old Testament among the Israelites God said,

Lev 20:10 -13 (NLT) ""If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife, both the man and the woman must be put to death. 11 If a man has intercourse with his father’s wife, both the man and the woman must die, for they are guilty of a capital offense. 12 If a man has intercourse with his daughter-in-law, both must be put to death. They have acted contrary to nature and are guilty of a capital offense. 13 "The penalty for homosexual acts is death to both parties. They have committed a detestable act and are guilty of a capital offense."

You see the varied sins of sexual immorality are trumpeted throughout the Bible. Such acts as adultery, fornication and yes homosexuality are so evil in God’s sight, that He deemed that no adulterer or homosexual was allowed to live on in the land of Israel ! Now, according to modern standards this is frightening and simply unacceptable. But friend, realize this is the Word of the God who created us, and it is God who has the right to establish the rules. Now what does the New Testament say? Listen again to God speaking to us,

Mat 5:27-28 (NLT) ""You have heard that the law of Moses says, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Jesus told the spiritual leaders of Israel that adultery in God’s sight was far more than they imagined and understood. There are numerous warnings in the New Testament against sexual sins, including adultery (Acts 15:20; 1 Cor. 6:15–18; Gal. 5:19ff; Eph. 4:17ff; 5:3–12; Col. 3:5; 1 Thes. 4:3–7; Heb. 13:4). This 7^th commandment affirms the sanctity of sex. God created it, God protects it, and God punishes when His law is violated.  Yes, it is grievous and wrong to be physically intimate outside of marriage, but more so, God said that when a man or a woman lusted in their heart even to fantasize to do this, although they had not carried out the actual sin, they were still guilty before God. “Wow,” imagine that. God is pretty explicit. But there’s more. We read in.

Eph 5:5-6 (NLT) "You can be sure that no [sexually] immoral, impure, person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God… 6 Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the terrible anger of God comes upon all those who disobey him."

Heb 13:4 (NLT) "Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery."

Rev 21:8 (NLT) "… the [sexually[ immoral, —their doom is in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur. This is the second death."

Repeatedly in the Bible, God commands us to avoid at all costs what once was called, “the SCARLET SIN,” of adultery and all forms of sexual immorality.

Now knowing God’s Word on the matter should be enough to avoid it at all costs, unless of course you don’t believe in God or His Word. Unfortunately, a growing majority of young Americans say that.  For them, there are no moral absolutes, and all traditions of the past founded upon them are rejected. Well friends be warned, simply because you refuse to believe something doesn’t cancel the truth and its consequences. God says He will judge the adulterer and all sexually immoral people! Immorality and infidelity carries a high price here and now but in eternity too. For instance here and now, immorality destroys the marriage and family, leads to sexual disease, ruins your reputation among others, destroys your ability to truly love, and of course your usefulness to God. 

From there, God promises to bring eternal judgment on such unrepentant sinners. Now there are many excuses for sexual immorality, adultery and fornication. Many men step out of a monogamous marriage in the quest for “money and power.” Often a woman falls into adultery because of “marital loneliness, frustration, or dissatisfaction.” Still others, sin by reason of “anger or revenge.” Again, I say to you all, these excuses although in human terms give a reason for one’s infidelity, they will not be excused at the court of Heaven. Why? Adultery, fornication and sexual deviance such as homosexuality are always a choice!

Sexual immorality of all sorts is something everyone can truly avoid! Immorality is something that must not happen to you or me. Now how can one avoid falling into these terribly destructive sins? Here are some concrete suggestions to help anyone avoid in particular, the sin of adultery,

I. CONFESS THAT MONOGAMY IN MARRIAGE IS NOT SOMETHING NATURAL - 

Yes, we must confess we are “sinners” by nature, and we all want to personally gratify our urges and wants regardless of the effect and cost to upon others. Accept this. If we are upfront with this and admit it, we can then begin to avoid falling into the sins of immorality. Friend, if you want to be faithful in your marriage, you will for a lifetime have to work hard at maintaining a monogamous relationship. In so doing, God will bless your home and heart with faithfulness. I thank God that my wife and have celebrated our 39th wedding anniversary this year and both of us have kept our vows to be faithful to each other. Yet, we have admitted and confessed to each other, that we are capable of sinning against each other’s love and God’s word in the matter, if we are not careful about our relationships with the opposite sex. Secondly,

II. SINCE WE ARE ALL SINNERS BY NATURE, WE MUST AVOID AT ALL COSTS COMPROMISING RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX 

– Now personally, I do not believe that a married man or woman should have close personal and or intimate friendships with the opposite sex outside of one’s marriage mate. Any friendships must be within the confines of a joint relationship that includes the husband and wife. Invariably, intimate conversations, and other togetherness without one’s mate with a member of the opposite sex, can fuel and ignite unholy sexual forces within us that unless leashed cannot be stopped until its fateful and tragic end. Husband, wife, guard your relationships, and reserve your intimate friendships for your marriage partner. Enjoy his or her company and plan to do things together regularly. Your wife or husband is to be your best friend! Awhile ago, a radio listener wrote to me telling me of the loss by death of his wife. He ended his letter with these words,

"She was my best friend, my lover and my partner and at this moment I cannot envision living. What is left of my life without her. I miss her."

Oh how my heart aches for him, yet he reflected what a true marriage is to be - the most intimate union of love, friendship, and companionship there can be between a man and a woman. Friend, nourish and cherish it while you have it.

III. COMMIT YOURSELF TO CONTINUED SPIRITUAL GROWTH 

– In the Bible we are told in,

Psa 127:1 (NLT) "Unless the LORD builds a house, the work of the builders is useless…"

The house of marriage that successfully stands and weathers the storms of life is only to be found in the family that honors God and the principles of His Word. If you’re a Christian today, you must continue to cultivate a growing spiritual relationship with Jesus Christ, together! It’s crucial that you grow spiritually, together. Today if you are not doing this, invite Jesus Christ into your life and home. Make Him the head of the household, the Lord of your relationships and God will bless and protect your marriage and hearts.

IV. CONFRONT ALL MARITAL PROBLEMS BEFORE THEY HAVE A CHANCE TO GROW 

- Friend know this, there is no perfect marriage anywhere! Why? Because we are all sinners! When two sinners come together they will inevitably experience difficulty and problems. The real problem is when they come together, one or the other partner is silent about their difficulties. In time that silence grows inside and begins to eat away at the love and heart of the marriage. However, couples can choose to confront problems regularly. Talk about them, share them, and be honest enough to raise whatever issue it is that you are having difficulty with. Also, be sure you have allowed your partner in marriage the right to confront you with their needs, dissatisfaction, or trouble without you getting angry, mocking them, or sloughing it off and irrelevant. Unresolved problems can often end in extramarital affairs, and statistics show they often do.

V. ACCEPT THE FACT THAT MONOGAMOUS LOVE IS SOMETHING THAT YOU MUST WORK A LIFETIME FOR!

– True love is not a “feeling,” it is a “commitment of the will” to satisfy another at one’s own expense. Lust is the opposite. It is the desire for self satisfaction at the expense of another. Do you want your mate to be faithful? Do you want to be faithful? Then work at it! You must at all costs cultivate a continuing romance between you both as long as you both live, even in old age. Do you surprise your mate with "buddy" gifts? Do you go out on dates often? Do you plan vacations together? Do you spend your time away from work, together? I know what children can bring to a marriage and the extra work too. 

My wife and I had five children to care for. But nothing is more important than you being with your marriage mate regularly and often. No job, no career, no bank account needs, no good health can substitute for keeping love alive in your hearts! So don’t sacrifice it for anything in this world! Dedicate your life and heart to living for your mate, wanting to satisfy their every need, and serving them the same. If you do, they will respond in kind and reciprocate and true love will bloom and blossom as never before.

Well, these are just some simple suggestions to avoid marital infidelity and sexual immorality, and add real spice to your marriage; but, then I know many have already suffered the ravages of unfaithfulness, adultery, separation and divorce. Still others are living in such a relationship where there is no love and is intolerable. Love seems to be long lost, happiness has been gone for ages, and you’d give anything for the things I’ve shared. But let me tell you the "grass is NOT greener elsewhere!" Don’t jump from the frying pan into the fires of the SCARLET SIN of adultery or sexual promiscuity. First, God will judge you, and then life with punish you. That’s a fact in the world in which we live. If you are unhappy in marriage, you need to sit down with your mate and tell them exactly what it is that bothers you, and what you need to be fulfilled. If that cannot be worked out, seek counseling by a reputable Christian counselor.

If you are single or unmarried, do not get involved sexually with another. It will only end in tragedy. But above all, be sure you are in a right relationship with Jesus Christ. Do you know Him as your Lord and Savior? I’m not asking if you are religious. The devil believes in God but the Bible says he trembles because the day is coming for his eternal judgment in the Lake of Fire . God wants all men and women to be saved. This comes simply by turning your life and heart over to Jesus Christ, and allowing Him to make order out of your chaos, to set your feet on solid ground in the midst of the storms of your life. Trust Jesus Christ, call upon Him to save you, and believe in your heart His promise that He died for your sins and paid for them by His death. If you turn your life fully over to God through Jesus Christ, the greatest thing will happen for you. God will begin working all things FOR YOU, rather than allowing them to continually work against you.

Then your marriage, home and heart can begin the journey to restoration and a life of satisfaction, joy and peace. Oh it is my prayer that these statistics for adultery stop, especially in the world of Christians, and such sins of immorality be washed white as snow, through Jesus Christ our Lord.  The Bottom line is the sin of adultery and all forms of immorality are growing every day as the world we live in rejects God and His Son Jesus Christ. Friend, if you are married today, make it your number one priority after your commitment to love Jesus Christ, to do all to satisfy your mate’s needs. God will help you accomplish this and He will bring the bonding cement of reciprocation that lasts for a lifetime. It’s all possible through Jesus Christ the Lord.