“ALTHOUGH THE PUSH IS ON TO EXPAND MARRIAGE BEYOND THE CENTURIES AND AGES UNDERSTANDING OF HETEROSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS, IT’S TIME TO DISPEL THE MYTHS AND FOLKLORE OF MARRIAGE.”

 I’m Dennis Finnan, host and speaker on the World, the Word & You! Broadcast and in a moment we’ll talk concerning the truth about marriage and what you should know about it. Stay tuned for eye opening facts and revelations from the Originator of marriage itself  …

… Recently in Europe , there was a huge reaction to Spain ’s quest to legalize same-sex marriages. Hundreds of thousands of people marched through central Madrid to protest their Parliament's recent approval of a bill to legalize gay marriage, a measure that would make Spanish laws on same-sex unions the most liberal in Europe . The march drew a heavy representation from outside Madrid too, including 300 buses from 30 Spanish cities and four chartered airplanes from the Spanish islands in the Mediterranean and the Atlantic . 

This issue of legalizing the approval of “Homosexual Marriages” called by the lighter term, “same sex marriages,” has become a hotbed issue in all societal life of nations around the world. Why even right here in America , we’ve been wrestling with the same issue. Now, why has this only surfaced in recent years and never before been a public policy issue in American life or the world? The answer is the whole basis and reason for marriage has been lost to the last two generations of people that previously were clearly understood by previous generations. And, it is for this reason I want to talk about the MYTHS and FOLKLORE in MARRIAGE. But before I do, let’s pause one more time for another moment of music, then I’ll return to tell you the truth and nothing but the truth about marriage, all should hear and know…

… Of all institutions of societal life for men and women, there is no issue more basic and important than that of marriage! It would be difficult to over emphasize the importance of it too, with regard to the fact that every year, now in the United States , more than half of our marriages end in divorce and broken homes. Why has this happened to us? What is the reason for this many breakups and the crumbling of the wonderful institution of marriage, that begins so lovingly and with such promise of good things? The answer is IGNORANCE of the nature and purpose of marriage itself. So let me share with you the importance of marriage in societal life, and how you can make it a truly dynamic and lasting institution.

First of all, we need to understand the nature of marriage. Now I can only talk from a Christian perspective because this concept alone defines human life. We believe, as the Bible tells us, that all life is the product of divine creation by an Omnipotent eternal Being called God. The Bible tells us all about it in ten short by potent words…

Gen 1:1 (NIV)  In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

First there was a beginning of all things in the material universe, and a Omnipotent Eternal Being called God was the Person who formed it out of nothing and created all things including mankind. We further read, the nature and purpose of marriage in the continuing creation account,

Gen 1:26-28 (NIV)  Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule … over all the earth… 27 So God created man in his own image… male and female he created them. 28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it…

Gen 2:24 (NIV)  For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Gen 3:12 (NIV)  The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

Gen 4:1 (NIV)  Adam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, “With the help of the LORD I have brought forth a man.”

From these collected verses, we discover three basic elements of the biblical concept of the purpose of marriage,

(1) Marriage is to be heterosexual, between a biological male and a biological female (Gen. 1:27).

(2) Marriage involves a sexual union of the two, for the procreation of human life (Gen. 1:28).

(3) Marriage involves a “mutual” covenant between the couple and witnessed by God (Mal. 2:14 ).

This last one is discovered in later revelation for we read,

Mal 2:14 (NASB)  “… the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth… she is your companion and your wife by covenant.”

Prov 2:17 (NIV)  who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God.

Marriage is not only to be a union between opposite biological sexes, but for it to be such a union, it involves mutual vows of promise and agreement to live together in a loving commitment for the purpose of accomplishing these things. So we can rightly say, God is the originator not only of all life, but relationships we are to have with one another. Marriage is God’s institution and His command for both sexes for intimacy and to cohabit together.

Now the next question is  - “How long was this duration to be and with how many could one cohabit with?” Again, the Bible answers and clearly says that only one man was to cohabit with only one woman, and it was to be for the duration of their lives.

At one time, the Lord Jesus found Himself centered in an embroiled argument over the duration of marriage. His reply was,

Mat 19:5-6 (NIV)  ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

We note from the words of Scripture here, that Jesus was repeating what was said in the beginning by God the Creator. God instituted marriage between one man and one woman and it was to be for their life time. This concept underlies the time-honored phrase used in marriage ceremonies – “Till death do us part.” So we need to reinforce today the truth that marriage must be monogamous physically and sexually according to God’s own word. In fact, the apostle Paul further states in the New Testament,

1 Cor 7:2 (NIV)  But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.

Exo 20:14 (NIV)  "You shall not commit adultery.

Lev 20:10 (NIV)  "'If a man commits adultery with another man's wife--with the wife of his neighbor--both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death.

Notice each man and each woman should have (singular) their own spouse. Contrary to Islamic and Mormonism’s corrupt acceptance and teaching of polygamy, it is a violation of God’s law and purpose, for humanity to have anything more in the marriage relationship than one spouse. Now of course, the great question that pops up is –“If God is against polygamous marriages, why did God say nothing about the polygamy of godly saints such as Abraham, Moses, David and Solomon?” The answer is He did! Monogamy in marriage was clearly taught in the verses I just quoted, but also Moses Himself was told specifically by God,

Deu 17:17 (NASB)  “Neither shall [you] multiply wives…”

Although God did not directly punish any of those who did so, God warned them in Scripture, that those who committed polygamy would not go unpunished. In fact every polygamist in the Old Testament paid bitterly for this sin with the ruination of their home life and their spiritual life as well. We read of King Solomon,

1 Ki 11:4 (NIV)  As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his God…”

The fact that God permitted polygamy is not approval of it. God permitted slavery even your sins and mine, but strongly condemns them. The reason is, mankind is made in the image of God with self-determination and will, a tangible part of our very existence, so God honors our sinful acts and actions, while He warns against all such disobedience in His Word. So, marriage is to be for a lifetime with one spouse until death causes them to depart.

In addition, God strongly warned that sexual relationships are to be between a man and a woman only and only within the covenant relationship of a monogamous marriage. Sexual adultery and fornication, terms given to sexual union outside of marriage, before, during or after marriage, are forbidden by God and they carry heavy judgments and consequences. Yet our society today laughs at God and His Word; Especially, the Hollywood crowd and the godless in our secularized society. This is why there is such a push to overturn the ages old sanctity of marriage. The homosexual crowd, and the sexually promiscuous crowd both want to break the bonds of marriage as God established. Now of course, as free-will creatures we can do this, but not without God’s warnings and His punishments temporal and eternal. Listen to what God says to anyone who violates the sanctity of heterosexual lifetime monogamous marriage.

2 Pet 2:12-14 (NIV)  But these men … They are like brute beasts, creatures of instinct, born only to be caught and destroyed, and like beasts they too will perish… Their idea of pleasure is to carouse in broad daylight. They are blots and blemishes, reveling in their pleasures…. 14 With eyes full of adultery, they never stop sinning; they seduce the unstable; they are experts in greed--an accursed brood!

Heb 13:4 (NIV)  Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

1 Cor 6:9-10 (NIV)  Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God ? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral ... nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders…  will inherit the kingdom of God .

I could go on but God warns that all who unrepentantly violate the sanctity of marriage will be punished in this life and barred from the next!

Now we come to perhaps the most misunderstood teaching of marriage, which is what happens when the sanctity of marriage is broken by sin. There are all kinds of sins that break this purpose and promise of a happy and holy marriage between one man and one woman. The first is sexual adultery.

#1 SEXUAL ADULTERY BREAKS THE MARRIAGE BOND

Jesus Himself commented on it when He said,

Mat 5:32 (NIV)  But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

Many Christian teachers call this the “ADULTERY EXCEPTION clause,” meaning that God permits divorce, only, if one mate is found to be living in unrepentant continuous sexual promiscuity. Now admittedly there are differing interpretations here, but the fact remains Jesus did qualify one main reason God permitted departing from the marriage covenant relationship.

However, the last words of the infinite God/Man Jesus Christ, was not the end of God’s written revelation and teaching.

We know that, Jesus Christ, from Heaven, continued to teach through His apostles and prophets of the New Testament. We discover His continued revelation concerning the plan, purpose and permanence of marriage in the writings of the apostle Paul. He stated the following,

1 Cor 7:15 (NIV)  But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

#2 DESERTION ALSO BREAKS THE MARRIAGE BOND

In the context of this passage which teaches extensively on marital relationships of believers in Christ within the Church Paul tells what a spouse is to do if their mate isn’t guilty of known adultery, but he or she simply abandons the mutual covenant promise to live together for life and vanishes. The spouse left behind, is told that following all attempts to reconcile, and the unbelieving mate continues in abandonment, then the innocent party can divorce and remarry.

In fact the Greek word “leave” in the text was a common word used for divorce.

Thus, we have at least two known reasons God permits divorce and remarriage for His children.

Now why does God do this when He commands otherwise? Is He violating His own commands and words? The answer is no.

Remember what marriage is. It is a mutual covenant agreement between one biological man and one biological woman to live together in a monogamous and faithful sexual union. When that covenant is made, God is witness, and they become “one flesh” in the eyes of God, or the completed “man” God intended.  This remains for the couple until this union is broken by death, desertion or adultery. Scripture shows that all three events “break” the marriage relationship of one flesh, and cause the marriage to be dissolved.

Now I didn’t say that, God’s Word says it. In fact, Jesus told the people who asked Him why did God permit divorce and remarriage if it was to be lifelong? Jesus answered,

Mat 19:8 (NLT)  "Moses permitted divorce as a concession to your hard-hearted wickedness, but it was not what God had originally intended.

Even in ancient Israel , under the Law of God, which was strict, God “permitted” or conceded to allow divorce and remarriage when a spouse abused the mate so badly that for the innocent party to remain in that state, would be intolerable for life and living. So, God allowed exception to the main principle and purposes of marriage. Today there remains what I call a legalistic spirit within the bible believing churches in Christ. We see that, 

1. Some teach that divorce is absolutely forbidden for any and all reasons.

2. Still others, teach that divorce is permitted for adultery, but remarriage is forbidden for any reason. 

3. Then again, others teach that divorce is permitted and remarriage too, but only for one reason, adultery and no other. 

4. Still more, others teach in the church that divorce is permitted for two reasons: (1) adultery and (2) desertion; and, remarriage is equally permitted for the innocent party suffering one or more of these two offenses. 

Well, you might ask – WHO IS RIGHT?  The answer is God’s Word in its clear context. First, to make remarriage a sin, is to make divorce the unpardonable sin. This found no where in Scripture. There is only one unpardonable sin, and divorce is not it. Secondly, what God suffers and permits, we too must do the same. Both in the Old Testament and the New, God clearly permitted divorce with the corresponding right to remarriage, and the only exceptions found in the Bible, for leaving the marriage covenant vows is unrepentant adultery by the other spouse, or his or her irresolvable desertion of the marriage and the covenant of living together.

Today we witness in the Church, that the statistics for divorce are about equal to the unsaved world. How shocking this is! More than half of all Christian marriage now end in divorce. Many are for wrong reasons, and justly are not biblically permitted by God.

Yet, many are for biblical reasons and if so, we are to recognize these individuals who have remarried properly, as forgiven and cleansed saints. They are NOT living in adultery, once the sin of divorce is confessed; and they are not second-class citizens of Heaven nor the local church; and, they are not to be denied any rights or ministry in the church they are qualified for as any other saved sinner. Denial of certain positions of leadership should never be based on marital situations, rather sinful relationships and actions only.

Now what I’ve said falls hard on those who tend toward severe legalism of the faith and teachings, and also the biblically challenged followers of God; but, it’s about time we get back to reading, studying and carefully examining the pages of Scripture, to find out what God really has said about marriage and divorce, and not what someone has taught decades ago.

Without a doubt, God intended and still does that all marriage be a lifetime commitment only between a biological male and a biological female; that it should be kept pure from sexual infidelity, and that it bear many children from such a marriage. Divorce is something God never intended and in fact God always hates divorce (Mal. 2:16 ), for all divorce is in effect, a sin that once committed must be confessed to God and those who witness it. Yet while never desired, it is always, always forgivable by God! And, if forgivable, is there any sin that God forgives that He doesn't fully restore the individual as if they've never sinned? The question is are you in agreement with God? Or, have you formed your own views or accepted popular teachings of others in place of it?

 Well, marriage is indeed a sacred union God instituted, and those individuals and nations that violate God’s commands for it will suffer judgment. If America or any nation, continues to flout the principles and purpose of marriage, by evil distortion and corruption such as same sex marriages being approved legally, it won’t be long before God who “hates” all corruption of His intended purpose of marriage, will step in with judgment. This is why we must stand up against the homosexual and promiscuous crowd that wants to destroy heterosexual marriage traditions of our society. I believe the Spanish people were right in their massive protests recently. Perhaps we need to do the same in America ? For the truth is, all nations will crumble that reject these principles of the sacredness of marriage.  May God give you a clear understanding of all these truths, and a heart to make them your own, for Jesus sake, Amen.