Dennis L. Finnan Commentator
"The World, the Word & You! Broadcast"

FACETS & FACES OF LOVE

“WHAT WORD IN OUR ENGLISH LANGUAGE HAS MORE POWER TO GENERATE HAPPINESS, HATE, FEAR,  COURAGE, ACTION AND RESPONSE IN AN INDIVIDUAL THAN ANY OTHER? THE ANSWER IS THE WORD, ‘LOVE!’”

 I’m Dennis Finnan, host and speaker on the World, the Word & You! Broadcast and in a moment we’ll talk about the MANY FACETS & FACES OF LOVE …

...Today we’re talking about a much used and abused, word and emotion called “love.” In the Bible, this word is found in various forms, upwards of 551 times. It has many facets and faces, as well as meanings. Today, I believe the word has been lost to our world. Hollywood and the media have so abused it, that what we expect from it, has either saddened or enraged many who wrongly apply and utilize its power and grace. So on this broadcast, I want to examine that little but powerful word, “love,” and do it from a biblical perspective to give us all a new appreciation for one of the world’s most volatile, and beautiful emotions we can experience. But first, one more pause, to listen to another delightful moment of music. Then I’ll return with today’s talk on the FACETS & FACES OF LOVE… Stay with us, you hear...

...As we begin to look at this most powerful word in any language, the word “love,” we discover it has many meanings in every culture. Yet love is such a difficult concept and emotion to understand because we refer to it in so many differing ways. The famous journalist, H.L. Menchen defined love as, “being in a state of natural hysteria, or a perpetual state of anesthesia.” The bachelor, Plato who must have had a bad experience with “love,” defined it as, “a grave mental disease!” One definition, almost comical is, “love is a feeling you feel, when you feel that you’re going to get a feeling you’ve never felt before.” This latter one, while amusing does in a sense describe what occurs when the emotion of “love” overcomes you. Yet, most definitions and descriptions of the word, and mention of love, are either inadequate or just plain wrong! The reason I think this is true is because the word, “love” involves so many different aspects of our humanity, particularly both emotion and volition. Now in the English language there is only one word for “love,” and to define its meaning and application, one has to resort to many other words with it. Yet in the ancient Greek language, especially classical Greek we discover the word love is found in four powerful and meaningful words. They are, (1) stergo,(2) erao, (3) phileo, (4) agapao. Let’s look at these many facets and faces found in such an emotion we all have experienced at one time or another.

1.  “STERGO” – This first Greek word, is the most uncommon of all, but universal as well. It’s a catch-all word, usually applied to describe the feeling of care and concern between parents and children. It can also describe one’s affection for a caregiver, or even a pet. It is an uncommon word, and not found in the Bible, which describes for us this word, “love.” Secondly,

2. “ERAO” – or eros, from which we get the word, “erotic.” Hollywood has turned this word into a money-making negative emotion that stirs the hearts and emotions of all. The Greek language definition is “a strong, particularly sexual desire, lust or passion for something or someone.” It’s a desire of the senses or emotions above all. This type of love is so powerful, motivating, and captivating that it often defies our reason, will and even discretion. Yet, in its pure definition, it is a good and important word for “eros” love is a primary building block of all marriage relationships. Another word more up-to-date for eros is the word “romance.” Within the confines of morality and devotion, this becomes a lovely expression of caring for and pleasing another whom we love. Outside of morality, God’s command for relations between the sexes, it becomes an evil thing which God condemns and is often found in perverted attraction to another that causes, “stalking,” sexual aggression and abuse, selfish passion and gratification at the expense and even peril of another. However, we have some Scriptures that speak of eros, this kind of love that is good and wholesome, particularly in a marriage relationship. For instance,

in the Old Testament Book called, the “Song of Solomon,” we have an historical record of the romance of King Solomon with a Shulammite woman. The “snapshots” in the book portray the joys of love in courtship and pleasures in marriage, and counteract both the extremes of asceticism and of lust. Moreover, the rightful place of physical love, within marriage only, is clearly established and honored there. For example, we read in,

Song of Solomon 4:10 (NIV)  "How delightful is your love… my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume than any spice!"

Here God’s Word describes “eros” in action.  Passionately, it may involve wearing an exotic smelling perfume, or an attractive outfit to please and or attract the one you love. Then again, the word “eros” can be seen in the expression Solomon’s bride said in,

Song of Solomon 8:7 (NIV)  “Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.”

Now this form of love might be called, “sensual love,” is basically found in eros. But realize too, it can be a wholesome and important facet of a marriage relationship, but only when it is found with two other facets operational too -- that is phileo and agapao. Let’s look at these other two words for love…

3.  PHILEO – This Greek word for love can be described as the affectionate love one has for others. It can be a family member, even a a close friend. This love generates from common interests, goals, similar likes and tastes, and in turn involves togetherness, mutual sharing, and the giving of comfort to another. Our world revolves around this kind of love, that can morally be given to others apart from the sexual context which only is to be found within the confines of a monogamous marriage. Now, Phileo is absolutely necessary to accompany eros love, or eros becomes abuse, or simply selfish gratification. Sadly, many marriages today are begun on the basis of eros, and phileo never appears or is experienced.

What happens is such lack of love eventually shows itself when the other mate no longer takes interest in the desires and likes of the other. Sharing few to no common interests, eros love can only grow stale and becomes an obligation, rather than mutual enjoyment. Before long, interest in each other drifts away and hence society’s divorce and adultery rate has skyrocketed. One must build into marriage at every stage, none excepted, this phileo love.

Friend, if you’re married, I ask you -- do you take an interest in your mate’s interests, goals, likes and tastes? If not, you’d better begin to do that, not out of duty as much as out of fanning the flames of your love for him or her. If you want your marriage and love relationship to prosper and bloom and burn brightly, phileo love is a continuing necessity!

Now in addition to this, the Bible speaks of the highest and most holy form of love, the love God alone gives to all who come to Him. It is the love word in the Greek language called,

4. AGAPEO – This word, is the word God uses to describe His love for us. It is a word that must also accompany eros, and phileo to be complete and lasting.  What is it’s meaning? Well, agapeo is more than sensual love, more than affectionate love, it is VOLITIONAL LOVE!  Volitional love is the guardian and preserver of sensual and affectionate love. It is the love that drives and cements all others together, into what God originally intended of this emotion and word, love. Now this word and emotion is not a love of attraction in any form to the other. It is not an admiration or pleasure taken from any excellency, in the object or being of another. It is not an impulse from feelings, nor motivated by any lack in another. No, Agapeo love is a love strictly of the will. It is a determined, unconditional, self-sacrificing, selfless “choice” based solely upon one’s desire to fulfill. In a more, concise and practical definition, agapeo love is “an unconditional commitment to care for the welfare and interests of an imperfect person, out of no gain in doing so except fulfilling your desire and will to do it.” Let’s look at this word found in the Bible as God reveals it to us. We see its use in the wonderful Scripture found in,

John 3:16-17 (NASB)  “”For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. 17 “For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world should be saved through Him.”

Rom 5:8 (NASB)  “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

These two great verses alone, begin to give us an understanding of this powerful love word, agapeo, and how God Himself describes it for us. First note, Agapeo is an “action” word! It never stands alone without moving out to act or do something. It always is found in a selfless, self-sacrificing usage of the one who wills it, displays and gives it. This of course, is the love story of the Bible. God loves His creation, mankind so much, that even though we have all sinned and fallen under God’s holy law of justice, God cannot and will not abandon us as sinners. The Bible tells of this story that the entire human race is fallen under God’s holy judgment of sin, and as such must be judged in eternity. God’s word warns there is a “Hell” coming for all of us, unless someone can save us, and redeem us from the sin penalty that awaits all. Scripture reminds us,

Rom 3:23 (NIV)  “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

Rom 6:23 (NASB)  “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

1 John 4:9-10 (NASB)  “By this, the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”

In these verses, we are told both of our penalty for our sins and selfishness and that we are born with our very own sin nature, but also we are told of God’s love seen in the action of God’s determined “will” to save us at His own personal and great expense.

Now in human terms, agapeo is an aspect of God’s love given to us all that only can be fully expressed when any individual comes to receive God Himself, into one’s life.

John 1:11-12 (NIV)  “He[God the Son]  came to that  which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 12 Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—“

1 John 2:5 (NIV)  “But if anyone obeys his word [accepts His son] , God’s love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him:”

God wants all marriages and love between a husband and wife to be complete and full. But this authentic love, with all its fullness and joy, cannot be experienced until we love God and what He has done in His love, for us. You see, we are built by God to be “responders.” God reached out and with His will and chose to save us, we who were imperfect, unloving, unwilling and unworthy, and sinners. How good to know God loves us this way. The Bible states,

Jer 31:3 (NIV)  “The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.”

In like manner, God wants the love between a husband and wife to grow to this full extent. For when it does, it too becomes lasting, regardless of time, and even loss. Now, most marriages today rarely reach this stage. Mainly, because most in marriage rarely seek God’s power to fulfill it. How about you my friend? Is your marriage one of “giving to get” -- where you only give out, if the other gives first, or returns the giving? Is your marriage one of “duty” where you comply with what is expected of you and no more? If so, you have not reached the mature stage of activating your “will” to love the other, unconditionally? Is your marriage one that if fueled only by the outward attraction? This only lasts for awhile. Even the most beautiful of women and the most handsome of men, both grow old and all in time, lose that youthful attractiveness. Eros love must be accompanied by Phileo and phileo love must be accompanied by Agapeo love. For when all three are operational – there is TRUE LOVE, LASTING LOVE, BEAUTIFUL LOVE, the love of God operating in you.

Now, how can you get this love of the will and volition operational? First of all, by seeing and experiencing it in God’s Son Jesus Christ. Yes, God loved you so much that He went to the cross and died for your sins while you were yet a sinner, essentially didn’t care. But, it’s when you realize how much God loves you, that, draws a decided response. This is called the salvation experience.

Acts 16:31 (NIV)  “They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.””

Yousee, when you believe God’s love, and accept Jesus Christ into your life as your Lord God and Savior, this special love blossoms forth in return, and says “thank you,” to God with the dedication of your life, to forever be lived for Him. How is this done? The “will” of a new heart is energized and God’s agapeo love flows forth in return. This is exactly what God says happens to those who are born again.. Listen,

John 7:38 (NIV)  “Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.””

Well friend, there are many facets and faces of love. But these three mentioned in the Bible, need to be operational in you. If any of them are lacking, why not today call out to God and ask Him to give you the ability to love in this manner, first of all God Himself, that is the Lord Jesus Christ who loves and care for us. Then, for your mate, your family, and your friends, and even for a stranger. I’m not talking about sexual love, that is reserved only for marriage, but phileo love, and agapeo love. Together these can make the world a sweeter place, a home a more gentle and beautiful place, and Heaven itself will have come to your home and heart.

Oh, may God show you the wonders of His great love, and may Jesus Christ’s love revealed in his going to the cross for your sins, ever motivate such volitional love in return to God, and those around us. In Jesus Name, I pray, Amen...

... Say friend, if you’re married, or contemplating marriage, why not make this seven-fold commitment? If you do it will begin the process of fortifying true love in your home and heart. Say these things in a prayer of your will to God.

1. I will place my spouse’s needs and wholesome desires above my own at all times.
2. I will daily love, honor and encourage my spouse.
3. I will allow my spouse her or his imperfections, and love her or him all the more to help them overcome them.
4. I will at all times, seek resolution and growth when conflicts arise.
5. I will not set unrealistic goals for my spouse, but be patient, kind and positive during their fulfillment.
6. I will not stop nurturing romance through daily care, to keep myself attractive, and to show tangible expressions of love to my spouse.
7. I will be an example of God’s love to my spouse also, by first loving God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength, and then showing my spouse the same.

These are just a few practical ways we can manifest true love and show the many facets and faces of love. Thank God, He loves us so much that God the Son, our Lord Jesus Christ was willing to even die for us. Such love demands our all in return. May God so give that heart to you today. Amen.

·         Radio talk #2902

·         Broadcast date: July 21, 2002

·         Speaker: Dennis L. Finnan, Commentator

·         Program: The World, the Word & You! Radio Broadcast

·         Address: P.O. Box 40133 Grand Junction, CO 81504

The World, the Word & You! Broadcast is a non-denominational ministry based on the historic fundamental evangelical interpretation of the Scriptures. A copy of our doctrinal statement is available upon request. These weekly radio commentaries are not exhaustive studies of any particular subject due to the time limit of broadcasting. Actual broadcasts can be heard in selected areas around the nation, as funding provides. Dennis Finnan has been the speaker for over 22 years, and serves as General Director.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

These transcripts are available free of charge to all who desire them. Also available are actual radio cassette tapes and printed booklets of each message. A free listing of recent messages is available upon request also.