“IN AMERICA THIS WEEKEND, WE CELEBRATE A SPECIAL DAY CALLED, ‘FATHER’S DAY.’ BEING A FATHER THOUGH IS THE MOST DIFFICULT AND FRIGHTENING JOB IN THE WORLD! YET BY FAR IT IS ALSO THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB OF ALL”

 I’m Dennis Finnan , host and speaker on the World, the Word & You! Broadcast and in a moment we’ll talk about the role of fathers in my message entitled, FATHER KNOWS BEST…

…Beginning on October 3, 1954 and running through September 17, 1962 , CBS & NBC television produced a situation comedy with 203 episodes that starred Robert Young and Jane Wyatt as Jim and Margaret Anderson. Every evening father Jim would come home from the office, take off

his sports jacket, put on his comfortable sweater, and attempt to deal with the everyday problems of his growing family. It was a hilarious and yet serious comedy that made fun of the trials and situations a father faced in being a DAD and husband. America laughed and cried with them through the years.  Yet today, the role of a father has changed dramatically, or has it? Based on interaction with hundreds of moms, dads and children, the job of being a father really hasn’t changed at all. Times change, situations change, but being a dad remains the same since the Creator of life itself made the first dad, Adam, long ago. In a moment, I want to talk about what the role of a father still is, and how you, Dad, if you are listening, can measure yourself and be the Dad God wants you to be. So stay tuned, and well talk more about it …

…Today the task of being a father is more serious than ever before!  A child’s relationship with Dad is a critical factor in that son or daughter’s physical, mental and even spiritual health.  There are now documented findings that conclusively prove that when fathers are absent from the home, and children are raised solely by a mother, this greatly contributes to juvenile delinquency, crime and poverty in the home. Secondly, when fathers are present and participate in active conversation, children are stimulated to greater intellectual advancement in schooling and education. Third, studies have found that the lack of closeness with parents especially Dads can remarkably contribute to latter year health problems such as: hypertension, coronary heart disease, malignant tumors, mental illness and even suicide! Fourthly, a study of thirty-nine teenage girls who suffered from the anorexia nervosa eating disorder, showed that thirty-six of them all had one common denominator -- the lack of a close personal relationship with their fathers! Fifth, another study showed that young white teenage girls living in fatherless families, were 60% more likely to begin a promiscuous life than those living in two-parent homes.

Now, all these finding are documented in a book called: “THE FATHER CONNECTION,” written by popular author, Josh McDowell. What they tell us is Dad has a serious and important role in the family that even in the 21^st century, he must not abrogate for any reason. If he desires his children reach their fullest potential of health, happiness and success in their lives, he must be the Dad that God intended him to be.

Now what exactly constitutes a good father -- a father who knows best, as Robert Young portrayed years ago on Hollywood TV? Well, I think every man who becomes a father has a general idea although he may not be fulfilling that role. From a secular viewpoint, we might consider a good father as one who is…

1. Loving, kind and gentle towards his children at all times.

2. Always available to help them in all their struggles, trials and needs.

3. Has a reputation as being strong and decisive, but not a bully.

4. Very smart and wise and always available with good advice when asked.

5. A good and dependable friend to his children at all times

Yes, these are simple and general ideals one can imagine when you think of what constitutes being a good Dad. However, in the Bible this role goes much further and deeper. Permit me to share it with you now.

To begin, we all need a model, before we can set out to do anything. You know, I love woodworking! However, before I set out to build anything, especially some piece of furniture I usually find a good working model. I either purchase it, or examine it with intricate measurements and mapping. Then I proceed to duplicate it or perhaps improve upon it when I venture forth in construction of what I want. In reality, we must all do something like that even when it comes to knowing what good fathering is all about. But I’ve got good news for you – God has given us a model of what it means to be a good father, not in the world’s eyes but the eyes of our very Creator Himself. Have you ever measured or mapped Him out? Well you can, for this “Father,” is the finest model that can ever be seen. Who is He? Why He is God Himself, He is our model father found in the Word of God, the Bible. Listen now to some revealing scripture that shows us this,

Deu 32:6 (NIV) “ …Is not your Father, your Creator, who made you and formed you?”

Mat 6:9 (NIV)  "This, then, is how you should pray: "'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,

1 Cor 8:6 (NIV)  yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live.

Mat 3:17 (NIV)  And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."

Mat 7:11 (NIV)  If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Gal 4:6 (NIV)  Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father."

Now in these verses, we the common denominator is God tells us e is our heavenly father by creation, and as such we are told some basic qualities of His being a good father.  Let’s catalog them now. We begin with …

 I. A GOOD FATHER MUST BE A MAN OF PURITY & INTEGRITY – God as Father reveals this in Himself. These qualities can be summed up in one biblical word – HOLINESS! Yes, God says in both the Old Testament and the New,

Lev 11:44 -45 (NIV)  I am the LORD your God; consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am holy. Do not make yourselves unclean…”

1 Pet 1:16 (NIV)  for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."

So God the Father, commands earthly fathers to become like Him. Listen again to God’s Word that defines this purity, integrity or holiness,

Eph 5:3 (NIV)  But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.

Now then, if you want good, godly children from your marriage, Dads, you must show them and your spouse your wholesome faithfulness to them and the family unit. How sad today adultery and unfaithfulness is a common denominator as many Dads are becoming more and more unfaithful. Nothing ruins a relationship with children more than this! Because God is pure, He has told us sexual impurity is a great offense to Him.

Heb 13:4 (NLT)  Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.

It is the duty of Dads to “model” first of all, sexual purity and faithfulness to the wife and family, and then to teach that standard to the children too. In addition, this kind of faithfulness is seen in Dad’s honesty and commitment to the things he puts his word to. The phrase “he is a man of his word,” is vitally important for children to see and experience. Dad, if you make promises, keep them! Dad, if you find your commitment is going to cost you more than you thought, pay it! I the end, it will pay the greatest dividend in your children’s lives as they follow your role. God is faithful to keep His Word! Which by the way is the whole basis of the Christian faith. We live on the belief that what God has said is true, God is faithful to keep it and not to change it.  We read in the Scripture,

Deu 7:9 (NIV)  Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.

James 1:17 (NIV)  Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

1 John 1:9 (NIV)  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Yes God is faithful, now and forever and He keeps His word no matter what! Most importantly He has promised to save us from Hell to come by substituting the death of His Son Jesus Christ on the cross at Calvary . Because God has promised this, Christianity rests on this realizing that once a sinner trusts in Jesus Christ alone for their salvation and eternal life – God’s promises are her are his or hers forever. Friend, that’s what Christianity is all about. How important then that Fathers be men of faithfulness, purity and integrity. Now secondly,

II.  A GOOD FATHER MUST IS A MAN WHO IS AVAILABLE TO ENCOURAGE, COMFORT AND SUPPORT HIS CHILDREN AT ALL TIMES – God as Father again reveals this in Himself. These qualities can be seen in God’s Word describing our heavenly Father.

Psa 34:17-18 (NIV)  The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. 18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

2 Cor 1:3-4 (NIV)  Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

How important it is that Dads not be the Hollywood macho man! Dad is be strong, yes, but gentle, tender, caring and one who can encourage, comfort and support his children and spouse in their times of need. I can remember my dad holding me in his lap, hugging me, speaking soft and kind words to me when I was hurt, or felt sad, disappointed, or some loss. That is the memory of my Dad and important it was, for it gave me a taste of what I wanted to be to my children and especially my wife. God is a great God of compassion, encouragement, care and comfort as Paul cried out to the Corinthians – “He is the God of all comfort” (2 Cor. 1:3). Yet even though God is filled with tender care and love for His children He has fathered by creation, He also manifest a balance in this that every father needs to know and emulate. What is this balance?

III. A GOOD FATHER MUST BE A MAN WHO IS FAIR, JUST AND DISCIPLINES HIS CHILDREN WHEN NECESSARY– God as Father further reveals these qualities in Himself. It’s one thing to be loving, kind, encouraging, caring comforting and compassionate, but without a balance it’s like a man rowing a the boat with one oar. He is surely is going places, but it is only in circles! The Bible reveals God is good, He is loving and has demonstrated that beyond any question. For the Word of God states,

Rom 5:8 (NIV) “… God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

What an example of a father who was willing to die for the children He loved. Yet why did he do this? The answer is God is just and must punish sin. You see before God created the human race, He decreed that the universe in which all His creatures would come and live, they would have to be in an environment that was like God Himself. Scripture tells us God is absolutely holy and pure, without sin of any kind! Thus, the universe in which God would be present with His creatures would have to be the same. So God passed what might be called, a law of perfection. Nothing could exist in God’s universe, that would bear the mark of sin and disobedience to God’s rule of perfection. If any creature broke that, the penalty would be banishment from God’s presence in what the Bible generally calls -- Hell.

Ezek 18:4 (NIV)  For every living soul belongs to me, the father as well as the son--both alike belong to me. The soul who sins is the one who will die.

Rom 3:23 (NIV)  for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

Rom 6:23 (NIV)  For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Mat 7:13 (NIV)  "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to [Hell] destruction, and many enter through it.

Yet the overall emphasis of the Bible is, God is good, kind and loving, but don’t forget, He is also just and must punish sin. Likewise a good father must be the same. He cannot allow willful rebellion in the home to go unpunished. Unfortunately, many Dads fail in this area due to humanistic teaching that says all form of corporal discipline is wrong. Not according to God. When children misbehave depending upon the severity of it, Dads are to take action. Listen to God’s Word on the matter from the Book of Proverbs,

Prov 19:18 (TLB)  Discipline your son in his early years while there is hope. If you don't you will ruin his life.

Prov 29:15 (TLB)  Scolding and spanking a child helps him to learn. Left to himself, he brings shame to his mother.

Prov 29:17 (TLB)  Discipline your son and he will give you happiness and peace of mind.

Prov 23:13-14 (TLB)  Don't fail to correct your children; discipline won't hurt them! They won't die if you use a stick on them! Punishment will keep them out of hell.

One cannot say this is not clear. God’s justice demands that punishment follow indiscipline in the heart and actions of rebellious children. In fact, there is a specific example of what happens to children who are willfully not disciplined in life and not chastened. We read of an Old Testament man of God who failed to discipline his sons’ lives, and as they grew up the results were disastrous for the entire family.

1 Sam 3:13 (NIV)  For I told him [Eli] that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons made themselves contemptible, and he failed to restrain them..

Dads must when necessary, take control of children who willfully disobey the rules of the home.
That is as one Christian psychologist, Dr. James Dobson has said is “TOUGH LOVE!” Nevertheless, it is true love, to care enough to confront and stop the willful rebellion of children who choose not to obey the law of the home.  I remember one time I willfully disobeyed my Dad and continued to play with matches. I was about six years old. One day, I accidentally lit up my bedspread in the room as I was lighting them under my bed. Fortunately, Dad was nearby and was able to put out the fire. Unfortunately, there was another fire that was not about to be put it. It was the fire in Dad’s eyes that saw the need to teach me a lesson I would never forget. Dad grabbed me with his iron grip hands and carried me to his bedroom and on the bed he placed me over his lap and spanked me so hard and long  I thought I’d pass out! I cried and cried in pain and agony, but when it was over, he hugged me and told me the consequences that could have happened. He told me he did this because he loved me. I didn’t fully understand that then but as the years went by and I became a Dad five times over, I understood it as love in action. I tell you I never played with matches again. Why even to this day I don’t like open flames, even candles burning. You see, Dad left his imprint and mark not on my body, but on my mind and heart.

God promises likewise that if we refuse to follow His laws of the universe, one day He will have to bring punishment for our indiscipline.

Heb 9:27 (NIV)  “…man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment,”

Yes, these are just a few of the most needed attributes of being a great father. God is our model and His love is unending for those who come to Him and trust His Word and His Son Jesus Christ. Religion is useless my friend. But Christianity is everything, for it is simply trusting God and His Word to do what He says. God’s Word tell us the Good News,

John 3:16 (NIV)  "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 5:24 (NIV)  "I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life.

Dad if you’re listening today on your special day, I implore you to follow you Creator’s example. First of all, to become an obedient son yourself, to your Heavenly Father. Then be all that God is to you, to your children and spouse. The rewards are great! For God promises you He will give you godly, obedient adult children who will be a blessing to your soul and a joy to your life. If your refuse and selfishly go your own way, and leave the upbringing of your children to Mom and schools – you will reap the whirlwind of sadness and shame. May this Father’s Day be a special day Dad, and may it be that for all today who do not know Jesus Christ as your God and Savior. The bible call is -- surrender your heart, mind and will to God the Son Jesus Christ. Do it by trusting Him alone for your salvation, and ability to walk with God and be an example to all your children and family. May God so bless you today for Jesus’ sake. Amen.

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