GOD BLESS OUR FATHERS! |
The World, the Word & You!
Broadcast
Commentary by Dennis L. Finnan
“IN AMERICA, THIS WEEKEND CELEBRATES
FATHER’S DAY! IT’S A SPECIAL TIME TO HONOR ALL MEN WHO HAVE CHOSEN TO TAKE THE
MALE ROLE OF SERVING, CARING, LOVING AND SUPPORTING A FAMILY. HOWEVER, ARE YOU
AWARE THIS ROLE OF A MAN IS RAPIDLY BECOMING EXTINCT?”
I’m Dennis Finnan, host and speaker on the World, the Word & You! Broadcast and in a moment we’ll talk about it from a social and biblical perspective...
… Today the family unit all across the world is in trouble! Indeed, the traditional family unit that for centuries served to build healthy homes, strong nations, and produce responsible adults from its children, is rapidly disappearing. In its place we see the “single” parent family unit. In most cases but not all, it is due to the fact that many fathers have abandoned the home, or are absent too long from the necessary participation in it. What has caused this? Well, a number of things the first and in order of significance is “SIN.” Sin in biblical terms is any transgression and or disobedience of the law of God, by any individual under God’s jurisdiction and accountability.
Another word for sin is “self,” that is making oneself your own god, and then serving yourself above all others and those around you. Indeed, many fathers today are absent from the home God gave them because of this sin and selfishness. Estimates show that now single parenting is a significant factor in American homes. Statistics show…
Single Parent Households
·
In 1998, 26 percent all
families with children were headed by single parents.
Press Release cb98-228.html, U.S. Census Bureau,
www.census.gov, April 29, 1999.
·
“Most single-parent
children live in metropolitan areas (14.5 million), and six in 10 of them (9.2
million) are in cities with populations of 1 million or more.”
“Children of single parents – how they fare,” Census
Brief CENBR/97-1, September 1997.
·
In 1998, an estimated 42
percent of all custodial parents had never married, 38 percent had divorced,
only 5 percent were widowed, and about 15 percent were separated.
“Census
Bureau Facts for Features,” U.S. Census Bureau, www.census.gov, April 29, 1999.
These hard statistics show that the traditional family unit is rapidly disappearing. Now what has been the result of this abandonment of the home by fathers? Well, further statistics show a terrible toll has been taken. Let’s take a look at some further statistics showing the effect the ABSENCE of a father has on the nearly 22% of American children in fatherless households:
·
63% of youth suicides are
from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census)
·
90% of all homeless and
runaway children are from fatherless homes
·
85% of all children that
exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (Source: Center for
Disease Control)
·
80% of rapists motivated
with displaced anger come from fatherless homes (Source: Criminal Justice &
Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26, 1978.)
·
71% of all high school
dropouts come from fatherless homes (Source: National Principals Association
Report on the State of High Schools.)
·
75% of all adolescent
patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes (Source: Rainbows
for all God`s Children.)
·
70% of juveniles in
state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. Dept. of
Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988)
·
85% of all youths sitting
in prisons grew up in a fatherless home (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail
populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections 1992)
Moreover, these hard statistics translate to mean that children from a fatherless home are:
·
5 times more likely to
commit suicide.
·
32 times more likely to
run away.
·
20 times more likely to
have behavioral disorders.
·
14 times more likely to
commit rape: This applies to boys of course.
·
9 times more likely to
drop out of high school.
·
10 times more likely to
abuse chemical substances.
·
9 times more likely to
end up in a state-operated institution.
·
20 times more like to end
up in prison.
How awful! Yet, how true and shocking this is for the future of families and our nation. But for the Christian today, we hope these statistics are not indicative of the Christian home, or are they?
Well, we must confess, many Christian homes are not producing Christian families. All too often our young people from so-called “good Christian homes,” marry unsaved mates, or at best, practice nominal Christianity, and suffer the same destructive events the secular home and family do these days. But the question we all must ask is, “What can we do to stop this ruination of the home and lives of tomorrow’s generation? Well, the answer lies in the Bible, God’s instruction book for humankind He created. The first thing we learn in Scripture is…
Gen 1:27-28 (NIV) “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. 28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.””
Gen 2:22-25 (NIV) “[AFTER FIRST CREATING THE MAN] the LORD God made a woman from the [flesh and bones side] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman, ‘ for she was taken out of man.” 24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. 25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”
Right at the beginning, Scripture tells us the purpose and place of marriage. It is to be between a man and a woman. All other arrangements of our fallen society today and down through the ages are an abomination to God. Therefore, a monogamous, lifetime marriage between the sexes is God’s plan for the home. Secondly, God said that this traditional family unit is to increase and multiply. That means produce as many children from it. A godly home is one where many children are born into it and are loved and cared for by BOTH parents. Third, we discover that in this family, all are to pursue life “TOGETHER,” subduing or bring under their control the world around them.
Of course this arrangement will vary depending on people types, physical, mental and emotional ability, and of course a firm resolve to make your family unit a godly one as the Bible describes.
This is where the vast majority have swerved into the “guard rail” along life’s way and crashed and burned. The ruined family unit lies along the wayside of the road of life a burning wreckage of what it was meant to be. Hence, the statistics I quoted to you earlier bear this out.
Well, the family unit depends of course on the obedience, sacrifice and commitment of both parents. But today I want to talk about godly fathering that can accomplish the destruction of those negative statistics and bring forth healthy, obedient children who will grow to be responsible adults carrying on the same traditions for generations to come.
Now, someone today has coined the phrase “GENERATIVE FATHERING.” I like that, for it begins to describe what the extent of true “fathering” requires in the home. Generative fathering covers seven areas of life a Dad needs to interact in the lives of his family and children. Let’s look at them:
1. RELATIONSHIP WORK – This is the area where a Dad must “create” healthy relationships with his children and spouse. Fathers must work hard here to maintain a communicative relationship. Do you commune regularly and interact with Mom and the children?
2. STEWARDSHIP WORK – Every Dad (God requires this) must provide for the physical needs and safety of his children and family. God made the male the physically stronger of the species and requires him to be the “protector” of the home against all dangers, and to provide for their well-being physically. It’s sad many Dads are absent from the home these days, and simply fail to render the support needed for their growing children. Deadbeat Dads are rapidly growing and their families are being ruined.
3. DEVELOPMENT WORK
– As the family grows and changes, so do circumstances and needs too. Every Dad
must be willing to make any and all sacrificial changes to meet these needs as
they develop. For instance, saving up for school and college days. For
Christians it means that when school age children appear, Dad may have to begin
giving more money to the household for Christian education, Christian college,
etc. Dad, are you looking ahead to growing expenses and needs?
4. ETHICAL WORK
– How important it is to teach your children to relate to others in moral ways!
So many young people are ill bred here and grow up from little savages to grown
social nightmares! Morality seems to be a lost concept and word, these days
among the newest generation. But it all reflects on Dad’s training or failure
of it. Now of course, the most important rule here is that if you want morally
responsible children, you have to be a morally responsible Dad! In the Bible we
have examples:
Abraham in the Bible was an example to his family. Oh, he failed at times and
did stupid, foolish and sinful things, but if you look at his life overall God
says he was a faithful father and example. Listen to God’s word,
Gen 18:19 (NKJV) “”For I have known him, in order that he may command his children
and his household after him, that they keep the way of the LORD, to do
righteousness and justice, that the LORD may bring to Abraham what He has
spoken to him.”” Isaac learned from his father and walked with
God. Why? Abraham was an example to him. Then we have the opposite example too
in the life of the Jewish priest, Eli. We read,
1 Sam 3:11-14 (NNAS) “The LORD said to Samuel, “Behold, I am
about to do a thing in Israel at which both ears of everyone who hears it will
tingle. 12 “In that day I will carry out against Eli all that I have spoken
concerning his house, from beginning to end. 13 “For I have told him that I am
about to judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knew, because his
sons brought a curse on themselves and he did not rebuke them. 14 “Therefore I
have sworn to the house of Eli that the iniquity of Eli’s house shall not be
atoned for by sacrifice or offering forever.””
The rule stands, “Like father, Like Son.” ¾ Dad, be an example to
your children!
5. SPIRITUAL WORK
– I believe it is here most fathers fail even those who do not abandon the
home! God requires the father to “lead” the children in the quest for spiritual
truth and knowledge. Dad, do you take your family to church regularly? Do you
hold devotions in the home daily with the children? Do you pray with your
children? Do you always pray at the dinner table? Do you pray with your wife,
for her and the children? Job is the example. We read:
Job 1:1-5 (NIV) “In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job. This man
was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil. 2 He had seven sons
and three daughters … He was the greatest man among all the people of the East.
4 His sons used to take turns holding feasts in their homes, and they would
invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. 5 … Early in the morning
he would sacrifice a burnt offering for each of them… This was Job’s regular
custom.” Yes, Job prayed, sacrificed for and spiritually led his
children even as they were adults. God was pleased and Job reared 10 beautiful
children who grew to be spiritually responsible adults. Is this your record
Dad? If not, confess it to God and if your children are still in the home, make
changes and become the spiritual priest of your home.
6. RECREATION WORK – Every Dad must take time to be “with” their children, and spend real time just doing fun things together. Dad do you play with your children? Do you know the average Dad today does not do this? He’s busy with work, and his own personal life and leaves this to the wife or baby sitter. Take time to be with them and interact. Fix their bikes, build or assemble their toys with them, go places, do things TOGETHER! It’s your responsibility Dad and God require it of you.
7. MENTORING WORK – This is an important work for all fathers. You must be involved in helping each child grow up to be what they are capable and talented to be. My wife and I of 36 years have five children and six grandchildren. When the girls and boys were growing up I tried to take time to be with them, and train them in the areas they showed promise and skill. My three daughters showed skill in music. I took the time to sit down with them and encourage them. I also played my trumpet with them even into their college days. My oldest daughter and I joined a community band and we played our instruments together there. My younger daughters both loved piano, we sat down on the bench every day and worked on music, and I on their hearts. Mentoring work is grueling work, but rewarding work too. Dad don’t neglect this. I thank God that early on He convicted me to do this and I can tell you it has paid rich rewards for my children in their adult life!
So Dad how are you doing? Are you absent from the lives of your children? Oh don’t give me the excuse of your work, your farm, and your business. You know if you lose your children to the world and sin, it will not mean a “hill of beans,” to you or God. Although many cannot change the past, you can forge a new future. It may be you still have children in the home, then do it. If they are grown then do it with your grandkids. Grandchildren are God’s second chance! But above all be the Dad God intended you to be.
But now let’s get very serious. Father, you cannot be the Dad God wants you to be until your are the child of God He wants you to be! Do you know Christ? Have you submitted your life and heart to Him? Have you crowned Jesus Christ not only as your Savior from your sins, but the Lord of your life? No man can make a Christian home, a godly home until he first surrenders his entire life to the Lord Jesus Christ. The Bible says,
Psa 127:1 (NNAS) “Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it…”
How we need godly fathers today to again take the reins of the runaway homes that are crashing into the guardrails on the highway of life. Dad be all that God wants you to be! But most of all be a faithful father who loves Jesus Christ, and centers his life on serving His home and family as the Father God has served us. May God bless our homes and may God bless our fathers!..
…You know studies show that effective Dads teach primarily by role modeling and personal attention. To be a role model, a Dad has to be interactive with his child(ren), not a little but a lot! Dad are you there for your child(ren)? You can’t work 60+_ hours a week, travel overnight more than 50 days a years, live in a different city, or spend twice as much time on your hobby, sport, computer, or TV than you do with your child. It’s time Dad to return home, or at the least be at home and interact with your children. It all begins there.
· Radio talk #2401
· Broadcast date: June 17, 2001
· Speaker: Dennis L. Finnan, Commentator
· Program: The World, the Word & You! Radio Broadcast
· Address: P.O. Box 40133 Grand Junction, CO 81504
The World, the Word & You! Broadcast is a non-denominational ministry based on the historic fundamental evangelical interpretation of the Scriptures. A copy of our doctrinal statement is available upon request. These weekly radio commentaries are not exhaustive studies of any particular subject due to the time limit of broadcasting. Actual broadcasts can be heard in selected areas around the nation, as funding provides. Dennis Finnan has been the speaker for over 22 years, and serves as General Director.
These transcripts are available free of charge to all who desire them. Also available are actual radio cassette tapes and printed booklets of each message. A free listing of recent messages is available upon request also.
For further information, reprints, or a listing of all topics, please write to our speaker, Dennis L. Finnan(dennis@wwy.org),or visit our webpage at http://www.wwy.org/