Dennis L. Finnan Commentator
"The World, the Word & You! Broadcast"

BE MY VALENTINE?

“THIS WEEK AMERICA WILL CELEBRATE AN ANCIENT HOLIDAY CALLED VALENTINE’S DAY. IT SEEMS TO BE A FUN DAY, WHERE HEARTS ARE DRAWN TO LOVE. YET WHAT LOVE DOES AMERICA CELEBRATE?” 

 I’m Dennis Finnan , host and speaker on the World, the Word & You! Broadcast and in a moment we’ll talk about Valentine’s Day...

…This week, the western world celebrates a special secular day called Valentine’s Day. Tradition has it that February 14^th, is the day when birds begin mating again and all hearts are drawn to love. You know, there are many celebrations our society observes which we have little to no understanding of why we do celebrate it, and how such observances came about. Let me tell you about the history of Valentine’s Day.

Now there are many stories and legends that surround this day. One popular idea is that it dates back to the ancient Grecian and Roman times, when paganism honored their gods and goddesses. For instance, Roman mythology ascribes to a goddess and her son the supernatural power to create lust and passion between the sexes. The goddess Venus and her son Cupid, ancient legends say, moved at this time of the year to create such lust and passion in human beings. A Roman fertility festival surfaced known as “LUPERCALIA.” It was a time when pagan priests, half dressed and almost naked, would run through the streets in two bands. Along the way, were woman who if struck by the goatskin strips they carried, would have their infertility taken away. These strips bore the name “februa” a word connected with februare, meaning “to purify,” hence the day was called Februratus, and the month February and Valentine’s Day came about.

Then there are other legends about the origins of this day. But before I share them with you, and a special word of advice from the Word of God, let’s pause again and listen to another wonderful moment of music. Then I’ll return with my message – BE MY VALENTINE?

…We’re talking about this week’s upcoming secular holiday observed in the Western world, called Valentine’s Day. Many folks enjoy this time for it seems to bring our hearts to the idea of love, care and passion for one another. We saw a moment ago that one legend says this day was derived from a pagan celebration of ancient Grecian and Roman worship of the goddess Venus and her son, Cupid, the chubby, often naked imp carrying a bow and arrows that if shot into people’s hearts, caused them to lust after and passionately desire one of the opposite sex. Festivals of unbridled lust and passion in Roman days were popular in the ancient past, and the pagan masses enjoyed celebrating this and what accompanied it. This time of the year for them brought gluttonous feasting, sex orgies, and wild pursuit of men and woman for one purpose -- sexual gratification.

However, there are other legends that say Valentine’s Day is a remembrance of a religious priest named Valentine, who married couples secretly against the edict of Emperor Claudius II, and having been caught was executed. The Roman Catholic Church in the third century, elevated him to sainthood and his day of recognition and commemoration is February 14,^th, hence, St. Valentine’s Day.

Well, you take your pick which legend you like, because no on can really say what is the official origin of this day. I would guess it is a conglomeration of all the legends which formed the traditions Christians and non-Christians today celebrate as the official LOVE DAY of the year.

However, today one sees a real distortion of what is “love.” Just look at the greeting cards offered on Valentine’s Day in the stores, and the tawdry sales pitches that accompany it. One valentine card I saw in a store read, “BE MY LOVE SLAVE.” Also as one walks through the malls of America , decent men must have to blush or turn away as stores boldly display sexually arousing intimate apparel to be given to one’s lover on this day. I believe our world today has lost the meaning of love, true love, and especially as the Bible reveals it to be.

Now admittedly, in the Church family of Jesus Christ, there are those today who “hate” Valentine’s Day! They say it is a pagan rite of lust filled passion that defies God and His Word. They would have all Christians to hide on this day and completely ignore it. Then others promote it in a milder fashion than the secular world. What’s a Christian to do? Should we ignore every tradition and holiday that is passed down to us? Well, as most of you know I am not one who falls into the category of denying everything because ghosts of the past hide somewhere behind it. Rather, I believe God has made us  Christians “adult sons” in the faith and He expects us to live our lives by making choices that please Him and honor His Word.

Although Valentine’s Day was probably born out of paganism and the lust filled passions supposedly to be excited by the god and goddesses represented by Venus and Cupid --  having a day to remember each other with thoughts of love, care and concern certainly is needed in our world today. I for one, do not believe that we are chained by the past, and must follow the path others take of rejecting everything that doesn’t suit one’s fancy or interpretations of the Word of God. You see, the Bible says explicitly,

Titus 1:15 (NASB)  To the pure, all things are pure; but to those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their mind and their conscience are defiled.

That beginning phrase is important, for it reads: “to the pure all things are pure.” This means that what you “do” with the things that touch your life, is the real test of what you are and what they represent to you. In other words, you make life what it is! Yes, you can join the pagan world today and make this secular holiday a lust-filled day, where you seek to use another human being for your own pleasures and satisfaction. Indeed, millions of people do this daily. Courtship, Marriage, true love and dedication to one another within the confines of a monogamous marriage relationship, seems almost lost on this present generation. Today, thanks to Hollywood ’s lies and corrupt teachings imbedded in their media, our youngest generation, when a boy or man dates, he expects with days or hours of the first day, for his partner to surrender her body to his lust filled desires. Date rape is not uncommon if the girl refuses. Yes, keeping one’s self pure till the marriage bed is almost lost to young people of our modern world. Why even within Christian circles, it’s rare to find a virgin boy or girl in High School or college these days.  How the language of love has changed. However, my friend God’s Word hasn’t concerning it.

Let’s take a moment to reflect on what the Bible says about love, true love and what we should strive to instill in hearts when this celebration day arrives on Friday of this week.

First let’s ask: “What is love?” I think the Bible answers for us in the well known Scripture written by the apostle Paul who wrote,

1 Cor 13:4-7 (NASB)  Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Here God tells us what authentic love is. First of all, it is not sexual desire, nor a heart passion to be met, or a need to be physically or emotionally gratified by the opposite sex. Authentic love according to God has five features:

1.  Authentic Love requires that we first love God - The Bible says we cannot know love, true love, a godly love unless we first turn over our affections and desires for fellowship, companionship, and satisfaction to the God who created us. Without this, any and all love will be artificial or self-appreciating at best. In fact, the Word of God tells us we were all made for this very purpose. Here then is God’s command to you and me.

Mat 22:37 (NASB)  “’YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.’

When we accomplish this, we begin to have the true ability to love others. If we neglect or redfuse to love God, the ability to exercise real love is lost. This is why our society that is increasingly secularized has lost the ability to love. Secondly,

2.  Authentic love requires us to first love ourselves - Now don’t get me wrong here. I’m talking only about having a humble heart to know that you have worth in that you are a created being, made in the image of the high and holy God of the Bible. So many people today have no self-worth. They have been taught they are just an animal that has evolved out of nothing, going nowhere and worthless at best. Surely then, such a being cannot truly love another, for their only desire is to be loved, and to use others to bring every form of gratification in their loneliness and worthless lives they live. This friend, is why so many marriages fail today. The godless individual enters with only one desire to “get” not to give, and when the getting dries up, it’s time to leave and look for another. The sad thing is that is exactly what the other prospective mate wants too. They marry and divorce again and again, never finding true love. What is true love? Well let’s catalog it from the Word of God which tell us…

3.  Authentic love is a giving love, not a taking love -   Yes, true love “gives” everything to the one loved, and in truth, expects nothing in return. This is seen fulfilled when mates in marriage unreservedly love one another in the same way. Each one doing everything they can for the other to satisfy them, encourage them, be a friend to them, and sacrificing anything necessary for this giving love relationship. Such love can never fail. But such love never stops with one’s mate.

4.  Authentic love reaches beyond the one loved to others - It blossoms forth into the lives of children produced through a pure love relationship in marriage even to relatives, friends, workmates and all the people around us. Of course such love is different from the intimate love between a husband and wife.

Now think about this. Have you ever found unloving people, who simply can’t express love to you? It’s because they have never learned to love God’s way. Oh they had emotions, and highs in relationships, but almost always it was when the other party simply satisfied them. Rarely, was it a giving relationship. This is why they are so negative, critical and unappreciative of people and things around them.

Now let me make some suggestions for a healthy love relationship, especially in marriage. All too often many marriages fail and fall on the rocks of love lost, only because they have not obeyed 1 Corinthians 13 and God’s admonition of love. Furthermore, judge your own relationships and see if true love exists between you, your mate and family. In the love relationship of marriage or the courtship to bring it about, make sure you and your spouse or intended are committed to know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. You see no one can reach the fullest state of love or experience it; unless, they have returned to the Creator of Life and surrendered their lives to Him through the revelation of His Son Jesus Christ. The Bible says,

Psa 127:1 (NASB) “…Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it;”

God says one cannot build a real lasting relationship of love, commitment and a home and family unless the foundation is built on Jesus Christ being the chief cornerstone. Have you taken Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord? Have you surrendered your life and heart to Him, both of you, if in a courtship or marriage relationship? Unless you have, you will NEVER know real authentic lasting love. But you must not stop there. All Christians must continue to grow in their faith and knowledge of the Holy One. Couples who do not continue to grow spiritually will in time grow apart, and the evil one Satan himself will drive a wedge between you and your spouse. Do you realize this is why so many Christian homes are breaking up? The problem is sin and spiritual neglect of such growth.

Secondly, we must strive to avoid the sin nature taking control of our love relationship in the form of “controlling behavior.” All of us have the potential to allow this sinful condition to arise in our hearts. How is it evidenced? Why it appears when become possessive, manipulative, and bossy, as if we “own” the other person and it is our right to demand their love, and servitude. Sound familiar? No adult wants to be controlled by another. Such actions reveal sin has taken control of the life of the one who exhibits such controlling behavior. Often in the church it breaks out in people becoming “control freaks,” who demand to lead and direct others lives. This is not love, but love gone awry.

Thirdly, we must all realize that living in a sin fallen world where perfection is not present in any of us or our relationships, there will NEVER be an ideal love relationship. People today who romanticize the ideal marriage and mate will be disappointed and disillusioned. The “happy-ever-after” marriage simply doesn’t exist. Yet, with God at the helm of life, two sinners joined in marriage and committed to love each other can make their love work together for their good and the glory of God. Have you made that commitment to your mate, to love him or her regardless of the times they fail you? Have you learned that true love forgives again and again?

Let’s listen again to God’s description of true love…

1 Cor 13:4-7 (NASB)  Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Listen to those words of love’s description – love is PATIENT…KIND…NOT JEALOUS…NOT ARROGANT…NOT SELF SEEKING…BEARS ALL THINGS… BELIEVES ALL THINGS…HOPES ALL THINGS… and ENDURES ALL THINGS.

In other words, real, true, authentic love, not passion, or romanticism is a total giving relationship!  And guess what! God Himself has given us the greatest example in the Person of Jesus Christ. Listen to the Word of God about love of God for us…

John 3:16-17 (NASB)  "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. 17 "For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world should be saved through Him.

Rom 5:8 (NASB)  But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

You see, the greatest love story ever written is the Bible! It tells us how God so loves us, even though we have failed to love Him. It tells us how our original love relationship failed due to man’s sin in the Garden of Eden. Yet our ensuing walk away from our Creator God, has never caused God to walk away from us. Yes my friend, God is there waiting for you to come back to Him. He is forgiving, and He is as Paul writes, PATIENT…KIND…NOT JEALOUS…NOT ARROGANT…NOT SELF SEEKING…BEARS ALL THINGS… BELIEVES ALL THINGS…HOPES ALL THINGS… and ENDURES ALL THINGS and all this for you and me!

That’s true love for the Bible says,

1 John 4:8-10 (NASB)  The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

Yes, God “is” love! This means God whose character and being, is one of love for those whom He created. So my friend as Valentine’s Day comes around, let’s reject the silly secularism and paganism it was founded upon, and seek to emulate what real authentic love is all about. It begins with loving God through Jesus Christ, and then allowing His love to flow through us to all others beginning with your mate and partner in marriage. Now admittedly, many marriage and love relationships have failed or been sinfully ravaged. If so, remember God’s love FORGIVES, and all we must do to receive it is put the past behind us confessing its wrong and failure on our part and asking God through Jesus Christ to save us, and give us a new beginning! The Good News is, He will! But then, the opportunity for most is to offer the same new beginning to the one’s we love. If your love relationship has failed, can you admit your failure in it? If so can you ask your mate, or loved one for forgiveness with the promise with God’s help to make it right from now on? God is also the God who restores. So my friend, let’s evaluate our love today as it pertains to all others.

Is it a relationship that is pure, holy and undefiled? Is it a relationship that is centered in upholding and supporting the one we love? Is it a relationship whereby we respect our mate’s individuality and right to their own personality and life? If not, make it so today, by first being sure that you have crowned Jesus Christ the Lord and Savior of your heart and life, and the center of your home. If all has failed, begin again this week, by turning back to God, His Church, His Word, and His heart and life for you. Then Valentine’s Day can be celebrated not for the paganism of the past. That is jettisoned by that which is good, and that which is from God. Remember,

Titus 1:15 (NASB)  To the pure, all things are pure; but to those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their mind and their conscience are defiled.

Make your life pure in and through Jesus Christ, then all your love will be true love for God and for everyone around you…

…Friend let me say this. There is nothing wrong with love that is rooted in feelings or romantic love. There is nothing wrong with family love that desires to satisfy those around us. But the greatest love in the Bible is what is called Agape love. It is a self-sacrificing love that is the most beautiful of all and is reserved only for the Christian. This love is higher, deeper, wider and more powerful than any force in this world. It’s a constructive love, holy love, value filled love that lasts for eternity. God is willing to give it to you, because it is His love. But He only gives it to those who surrender their lives to Jesus Christ and trust Him alone for forgiveness of sin and eternal life to come. It’s available free to all who seek Him. Take it and use it to glorify God through Jesus Christ.

·         Radio talk #0602

·         Broadcast date: February 10, 2002

·         Speaker: Dennis L. Finnan, Commentator

·         Program: The World, the Word & You! Radio Broadcast

·         Address: P.O. Box 40133 Grand Junction, CO 81504

The World, the Word & You! Broadcast is a non-denominational ministry based on the historic fundamental evangelical interpretation of the Scriptures. A copy of our doctrinal statement is available upon request. These weekly radio commentaries are not exhaustive studies of any particular subject due to the time limit of broadcasting. Actual broadcasts can be heard in selected areas around the nation, as funding provides. Dennis Finnan has been the speaker for over 22 years, and serves as General Director.

These transcripts are available free of charge to all who desire them. Also available are actual radio cassette tapes and printed booklets of each message. A free listing of recent messages is available upon request also.

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